Life Of The Mind

Student Media: When Copy Editors Fail

2009-04-07T15:19:00.003-05:00

From the "It sure could be worse" file:

Brigham Young University's student newspaper, The Daily Universe, ran a photo in its Monday morning edition of a vote at the Latter Day Saints General Conference. The cutline (what a layperson may refer to as a caption) stated the following:

"Members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostates and other general authorities raise their hands in a sustaining vote Saturday morning."

If you've grown up around church you know that Apostate is not something a religious person would want to be called. Especially when you consider that the actual name is Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. And especially when your group is one of the governing bodies of the religious group that is affiliated with Brigham Young University and your newspaper.

This would be like the Bison calling Jimmy Allen -- one of the church of Christ's legendary preachers -- Jimmy Antichrist. More or less.

Apparently the students tried to pick up all of the copies that had not already been taken. Then they ordered an expensive re-run.

This is why every adviser at church-sponsored schools dies before they reach old age. The night before delivery is always a bit restless, especially if you know there is something that could be considered controversial in the issue. Let me add from experience that there is always something that will be considered controversial by someone, even more so at a religious school.

For example, this week I have heard of people upset that we ran pieces on a student working for a Palestinian health organization, a fashion show highlighting unsustainable clothing companies (and sustainable ones), a photo showing the protests at the G20 summit and a column from a Bible professor suggesting Christians and theistic evolutionists work together.

All in a week's work.

But I sure feel for that BYU adviser. Sometimes you eat the bar, sometimes, well, he eats you.

Here's that link.

Oscar Picks 09

2009-02-20T15:08:00.004-06:00

Best Picture Nominees:
- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
- Frost/Nixon
- Milk
- The Reader
- Slumdog Millionaire
Should Win/Will Win: Slumdog Millionaire
Overlooked: WALL-E, The Dark Knight, Gran Torino, Doubt, The Changeling.

Best Director:
- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, David Fincher
- Frost/Nixon, Ron Howard
- Milk, Gus Van Sant
- The Reader, Stephen Daldry
- Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle
Should Win/Will Win: Boyle
Overlooked: Eastwood (Changeling and Gran Torino), Christopher Nolan (The Dark Knight), Andrew Stanton (WALL-E)

Best Actor
- Richard Jenkins in The Visitor
- Frank Langella in Frost/Nixon
- Sean Penn in Milk
- Brad Pitt in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
- Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler
Should Win: Only seen Visitor and Benjamin Button (both actors performed well, not exceptionally.
Will Win: Mickey Rourke
Overlooked: Clint Eastwood (Gran Torino), Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man), Chiwetel Ejiofor (Redbelt), Dev Patel (Slumdog), Colin Ferrell and Brendan Gleeson (In Bruges)

Best Actress
- Anne Hathaway in Rachel Getting Married
- Angelina Jolie in Changeling
- Melissa Leo in Frozen River
- Meryl Streep in Doubt
- Kate Winslet in The Reader
Should Win: Meryl Streep
Will Win: Kate Winslet
Overlooked: Freida Pinto (Slumdog)

Best Supporting Actor
- Josh Brolin in Milk
- Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder
- Philip Seymour Hoffman in Doubt
- Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight
- Michael Shannon in Revolutionary Road
Should Win/Will Win: Heath Ledger
Overlooked: Jason Butler Harner (Changeling), Gary Oldman (The Dark Knight), Ralph Fiennes (In Bruges)

Best Supporting Actress
- Amy Adams in Doubt
- Penélope Cruz in Vicky Cristina Barcelona
- Viola Davis in Doubt
- Taraji P. Henson in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
- Marisa Tomei in The Wrestler
Should Win: Viola Davis
Will Win: Penelope Cruz
Overlooked: Hiam Abbass (The Visitor), Amy Ryan (Changeling)

Animated Feature
- Bolt
- Kung Fu Panda
- WALL-E
Should Win/Will Win: WALL-E

Art Direction
- Changeling
- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
- The Dark Knight
- The Duchess
- Revolutionary Road
Will Win: Benjamin Button

Cinematography
- Changeling
- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
- The Dark Knight
- The Reader
- Slumdog Millionaire
Will Win: Benjamin Button

Costume Design
- Australia
- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
- The Duchess
- Milk
- Revolutionary Road
Will Win: Benjamin Button

Documentary Feature:
- The Betrayal (Nerakhoon)
- Encounters at the End of the World
- The Garden
- Man on Wire
- Trouble the Water
Will Win: Man On Wire

Documentary Short Subject
- The Conscience of Nhem En
- The Final Inch
- Smile Pinki
- The Witness
Will Win: The Conscience of Nhem En

Film Editing
- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
- The Dark Knight
- Frost/Nixon
- Milk
- Slumdog Millionaire
Will Win: Slumdog

Best foreign language film of the year
- The Baader Meinhof Complex
- The Class
- Departures
- Revanche
- Waltz with Bashir
Will Win: Waltz with Bashir

Achievement in makeup
- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
- The Dark Knight
- Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Will Win: Benjamin Button

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)
- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
- Defiance
- Milk
- Slumdog Millionaire
- WALL-E
Will Win: Slumdog

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)
- “Down to Earth” from “WALL-E”
- “Jai Ho” from “Slumdog Millionaire”
- “O Saya” from “Slumdog Millionaire”
Will Win: WALL-E

Best animated short film
- “La Maison en Petits Cubes”
- “Lavatory - Lovestory”
- “Oktapodi”
- “Presto”
- “This Way Up”
Will Win: ummm Presto

Best live action short film
- “Auf der Strecke (On the Line)”
- “Manon on the Asphalt”
- “New Boy”
- “The Pig”
- “Spielzeugland (Toyland)”
Will Win: New Boy

Achievement in sound editing
- “The Dark Knight”
- “Iron Man”
- “Slumdog Millionaire”
- “WALL-E”
- “Wanted”
Will Win: WALL-E

Achievement in sound mixing
- “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
- “The Dark Knight”
- “Slumdog Millionaire”
- “WALL-E”
- “Wanted”
Will Win: WALL-E

Achievement in visual effects
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
“The Dark Knight”
“Iron Man”
Will Win: Benjamin Button

Adapted screenplay
- “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
- “Doubt”
- “Frost/Nixon”
- “The Reader”
- “Slumdog Millionaire”
Will Win: Slumdog
Should Win: Doubt

Original screenplay
“Frozen River”
“Happy-Go-Lucky”
“In Bruges”
“Milk”
“WALL-E”
Will Win: Milk
Should Win: WALL-E

Keeping Watch 2

2009-02-03T21:51:00.004-06:00

Excellent work from Pres. Obama on several fronts today.

In an interview with CNN today he admitted that he'd "screwed up" the promotion of former Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle to the cabinet post of health secretary. While clear to casual observers, the admission of mishandling something is a rare mea culpa from a president (especially an immensely popular one).

Also, Pres. Obama truly reached across the aisle to select Sen. Judd Gregg, a Republican from New Hampshire, as his commerce secretary. As a skeptical — and admittedly cynical — journalist, I questioned whether the move was actually a naked bid to filibuster-proof the Senate. Those concerns were allayed, however, when New Hampshire's Democratic governor selected Gregg's now former chief of staff Bonnie Newman to fill the Senate vacancy created with Gregg's appointment. Kudos to the president and Gov. John Lynch for truly trying to bridge the divide (even though they don't have to).

Keeping Watch

2009-01-23T18:41:00.006-06:00

President Barack Obama made history Tuesday when he was inaugurated as the country's first African-American Commander-in-chief.

It was an undeniably great moment for America and it makes me immensely proud of my country.

That said...

There is a feeling among many of my liberal friends that Pres. Obama can do no wrong.

There is an equally strong feeling among my conservative friends that Obama will do wrong and that there is no one watching that will call him on it.

As a media professional, I take seriously the news media's role as watchdog. The press should be the voice of the people and keep the government responsible for its actions. I'm hoping that it will not be the case that with our new government that the media grow indolent in their role. Keep this government liable for its actions and inaction. Tell the truth even when it hurts — especially when it hurts. Do not gloss over the bad and do not pass over the good. Stand up also for the more than 46 percent of the country who voted for someone else as you celebrate for the 53 percent who did vote for Pres. Obama. Do not forget for whom you work. Take pride in not being starstruck and in not being the president's favorite or go-to reporter/paper/station/Web site. Keep the sunshine bright.

The Obama Presidency so far
The Good: 1. Transparency
The Bad: 2. Transparency?

_____________________

One quick personal note is this story about Pres. Obama's signing of an order to reverse the Bush and Reagan policy that withheld federal funds from international groups that provide abortions or information on obtaining abortions.

What this appears to mean (and will definitely mean to posturing Republican leaders) is that the door has been opened for U.S. taxpayer money to go toward abortions in foreign countries. This does not appear to jibe with his contention that he will seek to lessen the number of abortions. However, these international groups may also contribute to AIDS education and care as well as birth control (which, if used, could ostensibly decrease the number of abortions).

The alarm will be raised that this is essentially forcing taxpaying citizens who view abortion as an absolute moral travesty to support it financially (clearly against their religious beliefs). However, the same could be justly said by people who do not support the war on terror or the death penalty (both involve death under obviously different circumstances). If I had my will, I would keep the so-called "Mexico City policy" in play. Unfortunately, I am not the only taxpayer in the country.

The issue will come up again in the next federal election cycle, and, to be honest, it may affect my vote. I am in the unfortunate position of disagreeing on several major issues with both parties, and many of my points of disagreement come down to matters of moral absolutes. I consider myself an independent with strong opinions.

I hope to find Pres. Obama's term more inspiring and hopeful than I do today. As with most voters, I am sure that I will see things I agree with and things I do not. I will not, however, try to brush off the fact that this most recent action, although expected, is highly disappointing.

Here is to better days and the hope that some good will come of this.

KoufaX-Mas

2008-12-17T13:44:00.002-06:00

In this picture, Koufax's lights aren't working.

Merry X-Mas from the Beauchamps

Quite the Lap Dog

2008-09-30T23:40:00.006-05:00

Al Davis

Sam, former World's Ugliest Dog Winner

I'm just sayin'.

Living On The Faultline

2008-07-29T22:02:00.003-05:00

A 5.4 earthquake back home and I missed it.

When I was young I would have spent the whole day freaked out. I was 11 years old in June of 1992 when I experienced my defining earthquake moment(s).

The Landers earthquake (earthquakes are always named after their epicenters) struck at 5 a.m. on Sunday. It was a 7.3. For my friends who don't know from earthquakes, that is a monster. In fact, it was the most powerful earthquake in the contiguous states in 40 years.

I remember hearing my dog barking and then I felt the jolt. It hit hard and just started rolling. I'm not sure why, but my family all convened under the heaviest piece of furniture we had that we could fit under: the dining room table. It felt like it shook forever and when it stopped we all lay there huddled and a little stunned. We'd experienced plenty of temblors, but this was completely different. When we'd gathered ourselves, my sister and I brought our sheets and blankets into our parents' room. I don't recall how, but I think we all got back to sleep.

The first aftershock struck at 8 a.m. was centered in Big Bear and was measured at 6.4. I think my mom was getting ready for church. We all dove under the table again and waited it out, not knowing if the roof was going to collapse and kill us all. We are less than an hour's driving distance from Big Bear and Landers, and, considering the Landers quake was felt all the way in Idaho and Colorado, we got rocked. Our ceiling had some visible cracks and a small eagle sculpture was rattled off the entertainment center and broke.

When the shaking was over — and church was canceled — we trekked outside and sat in the old Ford Escort. I felt safer outside because I thought I could handle a tree falling on me better than a roof. Big Bear is nestled in the San Gorgornio Mountains in San Bernardino County. Yucaipa, my hometown, abuts the San Gs and on a rare, clear day you can see Big Bear from my front yard. That morning, and throughout the day, we watched landslides cascade down the mountainside. Needless to say, it was a tad eerie.

In the following days, experts from the U.S. Geological Survey kept appearing on TV talking about the chances for more aftershocks. Everybody was talking about the "Big One." One geologist I remember (because I was scared out of my mind) said that the region should be on high alert for a significant event for the next five years. I couldn't wait for 1997.

In 1994 the Northridge earthquake struck. Although I had to ride this out as well (it was a few miles farther away from us), I don't remember being affected as much. The media made a bigger deal out of it because it was L.A., but at this point I had learned to accept it — with a few reservations. After 1992 I always slept halfway out of my blankets in case I needed to make a quick escape. I also slept in my parents room for a spell and then on my sister's floor. I felt like sleeping on the floor would make me feel it sooner. My room had been an add on, so I didn't think it had the strength of the rest of the house. Also, I was pretty chicken.

After moving to the South, specifically tornado alley, I have reassessed my childhood nemesis. I figured that if I had to live with natural disasters, I would rather deal with earthquakes. I made this decision after the third consecutive day of tornado warnings this year. Who needs the trouble of worrying about death when it can just strike out of nowhere?

Also, if I'm ever really homesick for earthquakes, I live on maybe the most overdue fault in the world (the New Madrid). When it hits, it's going to rock.

Hopefully it's not during a tornado.

Your All-Star Ballot

2008-06-23T11:25:00.002-05:00

Selections are based on predicted lineups turned in by managers during Spring Training. Decisions are based on pure numbers through June 23.

OPS and OPS+ are metrics that show a player's overall offensive impact much better than simple counting stats like RBI (which is affected by opportunity) and figures like batting average (which neutralizes walks).

A decent OPS is above .700, and a good OPS+ is 100 or more.

American League
1st Base: Jason Giambi (OPS: .978; OPS+: 161)
2nd Base: Ian Kinsler (.864; 131)
Shortstop: David Eckstein (.725; 98 — Bad year for AL shortstops)
Third Base: Alex Rodriguez (1.025!; 173!)
Catcher: Joe Mauer (.854; 136 — Posada's close, but he hasn't played nearly as often)
OF1: Milton Bradley (1.079!; 189! — First-half MVP; Keep it together Milt)
OF2: Josh Hamilton (.934; 148)
OF3: J.D. Drew (1.017; 166 — Nice half years for a couple of former Dodgers)
DH: Hideki Matsui (.862; 133)
Write-In: Carlos Quentin (.925; 144)

National League
1st Base: Lance Berkman (1.121!; 192! — Nudges Al Pujols at most stacked position in all of baseball)
2nd Base: Dan Uggla (1.022; 167)
Shortstop: Hanley Ramirez (.907; 140 — If he hadn't missed half the season, Rafael Furcal was an MVP candidate and the best shortstop in baseball with or without defense)
3rd Base: Chipper Jones (1.116; 196 —Flirting with .400; First-half MVP for all of baseball)
Catcher: Brian McCann (.952; 151 — Edges Russ Martin, the better defender)
OF1: Ryan Ludwick (.976; 154 — Wait... who?)
OF2: Pat Burrell (.982; 151)
OF3: Jason Bay (.917, 142 — Nudges teammate Nate McClouth on principle)

More on pitching later...

Pigs On The Wing

2008-05-23T14:09:00.002-05:00

When I was a lad I cut my musical teeth on a steady feeding of classic rock from my old man. My dad's favorite bands were the Doobie Brothers and the Beatles. I grew up with a healthy respect for both bands, but one of my dad's other favorites eventually won out: Pink Floyd.

My Pink Floyd fandom was really cultivated through the ages of 14-17. The first album that captivated me was Dark Side of the Moon. This is a standard album for all teenage boys, but it has remained my favorite album of all time.

When I was 17 I dragged my dad down to a midnight showing of the Dark Side of the Moon laser show at one of the local IMAX theaters. The laser show was predictable cheese, but the incredible sound system in the theater made the late showing worthwhile. I thought this was the closest I would ever get to seeing Pink Floyd in concert.

So when my buddy Matt called and told me about tickets to a Roger Waters show, I jumped right in.

For those who don't know, Pink Floyd, at their creative and musical best, consisted of Roger Waters, David Gilmour, Nick Mason and Rick Wright. The band featured two geniuses: Waters and Gilmour. When I first listened to Pink Floyd, I distinctly heard two singers: one sounded like a kind of talk-singing and had no real melodic tone to it; the other was amazing. Roger Waters was the former, David Gilmour the latter. Gilmour also plays an incredible lead guitar, including three of the best solos of all time: "Time," "Comfortably Numb" and "Another Brick in the Wall Part 2." However, Waters was the thematic and lyrical foundation of the band. His concepts led to Dark Side, The Wall, Animals and Wish You Were Here (among others).

In 1985 Waters quit the band for a mixed-returns solo career and Gilmour and the rest fought to retain rights to the Pink Floyd name and catalog. The split and resulting legal battles meant that fans hoping for a full-on reunion would be disappointed. However, Pink Floyd and Roger Waters rejoined for a mini-set at Live 8 in 2005.

So there was a real fear that I was paying $83 for a Pink Floyd cover band featuring Roger Waters. Knowing that Pink Floyd has no plans to tour ever again, and seeing as Waters was only playing four total shows in the U.S., I drove to Dallas for the show. Another reason to see this show is that it is purportedly the last time Waters will perform Dark Side of the Moon in its entirety.

I'm so glad I went. The music was incredible (Waters had excellent musicians behind him) and Roger didn't try to sing all of Gilmour's parts himself. The one drawback to the show was Water's constant political ravings. The picture of one of his infamous pigs (which was released during the song "Sheep" features the phrase "All religion divides" (Waters has long been outspoken on his distaste for organized religion). The other side of the pig read "Obama" with a checked box after the name. Across the pig's naughty bits (drawn in (why?)) were written messages to VP Dick Cheney and a call to "Impeach Bush Now." Waters also had some choice words for the Religious Right and Texas education in a poorly conceived new(er) song called "Leaving Beirut."

The first set featured various classics and sundry solo cuts.
1. In the Flesh (awesome opener; from the Wall)
2. Mother (played solo)
3. Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun (Very cool early Floyd song)
4. Shine On You Crazy Diamond (not all the parts)
5. Have a Cigar (one of the highlights of the night)
6. Wish You Were Here (great acoustic solo on this one)
7. Southampton Dock
8. Fletcher Memorial Home (One of Waters' best sung songs; extreme political diatribe against political conservatism)
9. Perfect Sense 1&2 (This song features Marv Albert — no joke)
10. Leaving Beirut (the lowlight of the night)
11. Sheep (would have preferred the excellent "Dogs" from the same album)

Intermission — seriously; we all watched the pig fly away into the night

Dark Side of the Moon (stunning, great sound, excellent effects)

Encore
1. The Happiest Days of Our Lives
2. Vera/Bring the Boys Back Home
3. Comfortably Numb

As I was thinking about the band's influences, I decided Pink Floyd's real descendant is Radiohead. Maudlin lyrics, atmospheric sounds and neither band ever put out the same album (highly experimental).

Helping Mankind

2008-04-14T17:11:00.002-05:00

Here is a video of me solving world hunger.

And here is a Web site about how to stay aware in the age of the Internets.

He he.

Fun Dip

2008-04-04T15:41:00.004-05:00

The Fun Dip Lik-A-Stik maybe the greatest tool invented by man.

I discovered as much along the first-base line of the southeastern-most Little League field at Yucaipa Elementary School when I was a lad of 10. I was in minor league ball, and I had real stirrups on my socks and the number 8 on my back.

And a couple of quarters in my paw.

Not enough for a rainbow snow cone, but enough for a bag of Shock Tarts or Bottlecaps, maybe a carton of Nerds (as long as I ate them before I got in the car). Good options all, but with a wrinkle-free blue sky, a double-header sweep and the promise of an afternoon of the brothers Mario, today was a day for taking chances.

"One of these," said I. "Please."

My first foray into Fun-Dippin'.

I must have sat there for an hour until I realized that, short of dumping the packet of candy powder into my mouth, I had to give the Lik-A-Stik an initial lik to begin successful candy-mining enjoyment.

In my memories, Fun Dip (or Lik-M-Aid) came with only one Lik-A-Stik (read: lick a stick). This made it the perfect candy for a cautious kid who hated to share food for fear of germs. The only way you were getting any of my treat was to beg for the the nasty spit-glued clumps clinging to the bottom folds of the pouch.

Somewhere along the line, or maybe they always had it, a second stik was added, along with another pouch of candy blow (maybe this was the 75-cent premium version). Kids were always trying to swipe that second stik. I told them in no uncertain terms that were they to place one grubby, glue covered finger on my Lik-A-Stik it would only be after wresting it from my cold, dead hand.

See, I found early on that the Lik-A-Stik was the true piece de resistance of the Fun Dip concoction. I would scrape all my candy powder with one stik (three pouches, senor) and then savor the last unadulterated stik. There was something magical about that chalky, pregnancy test-looking (not that I'd know) candy stik. It was earth-shattering to my elementary school self. The candy stik was the Milk-Bone to my dog. It was the exclamation point to my rudimentary between-meals. It was the delicious hyphen of my "pre-teen" years.

An hour ago I ambled downstairs to the student center mini-mart. I sought a drink but gained a childhood staple. I took my now-99 cent package, folded it into thirds, dumped it in my pocket and nonchalantly walked to the office.

I fished out the first stik and deftly exhausted pouch one: Grape-YUMPTIOUS Dip. In my impatience for the next flavor I left a thin line of purple-colored sugar in the bottom of the pouch. Carefully, deliberately I ripped open pouch two. Tunneling deeply, I unearthed a mountain of Cherry-YUM-Diddly Dip that cascaded onto my lap in transit from pouch to mouth. Only crumbles a deeper shade of red remained in the pouch. RazzApple MAGIC Dip beckoned.

And there it still sits, pregnant with a blue candy powder that apparently changes flavor post dip. I'd moved to focus on my old friend Lik-A-Stik. One side was greatly diminished from the wear and tear of Fun Dippin', but the holding side was full and warm. Delicious.

And I've still got another to go.

In Case You Didn't Know

2008-04-04T13:52:00.003-05:00

This semester I'm teaching Editing for Print Media for the second time since I ascended to the lectern. I love teaching this class not only because it helps my students appreciate and respect the language, but also because it offers several opportunities to destroy some long- (or never-) held beliefs. This week I talked about problems in word choice and garbled idioms.

When I was a Dow Jones Newspaper Fund intern I received a hefty packet of material that relates specifically to these two problems. In conducting research for the class, I also stumbled upon a site that has a rather exhaustive collection of idioms (cliches) that are often garbled.

Here are a few trouble areas for American English writers and speakers:
Career vs. Careen: These two verbs can drive an uptight editor to release an "Oh, look at me; I'm so intelligent that this mistake is making me sigh" sigh. Careen is a nautical term meaning to rock or sway from side to side. Career as a verb means to drive recklessly or speed out of control. Cars usually career more often then they careen.

Bemused: This does not mean smugly amused, as many people mistakenly believe. It means confused.

Nonplussed is often believed to mean apathy or disaffection. It actually means bewilderment. Quite a difference, actually. I used to misuse this all the time. If you are planning on wading into the deep waters of big words, be sure you've double checked your water wings.

Loathe vs. Loath: I have roughly two kinds of students: those who are fascinated by the minutiae of the English language and those who hear a definition of loath (no e) and ask, "Who cares? Nobody uses it." This is a problem of adjective vs. verb. Loathe is a transitive verb meaning to hate (I loathe the Giants), and loath is an adjective meaning unwilling or refusing (I am loath to live in a state with no professional baseball teams).

Rifle vs. Riffle: I see this wrong every so often. Rifle as a verb means to plunder or steal. Riffle as a verb means to search or sift through (I am riffling through your sock drawer).

-------------------

One of my favorite topics is garbled idioms. Here are a few you may be unaware of (and if you are aware of them, why are you still using them? They are cliches!):

When worst comes to worst: It's hard (impossible) to move from the last degree of something to the last degree of something (unless you're using terribly unfunny hyperbole or you are a 12-year-old girl and your boyfriend dumped you then your mom cut off your Hannah Montana supply). If you are trying to show progression (or in this case regression) you should say "When worse comes to worst."

Don't mix words: We mix words all the time; they're called sentences (or possibly malaprops). The idiom is an imperative to not "mince" words.

Veil of tears: This mistake makes a bit of sense; imagine someone crying so hard that it covers his or her face. The idea, however, is that one is passing through a valley of tears or — archaically — a vale.

Chomping at the bit: All cowboys know that a bit refers to an important part of standard horse riding equipment. Chomping does indeed mean bite vigorously, but it is a variant of the original, to champ. If you are using an idiom it is because it has entered into the lingo in an original form and stuck around. You must say the horse (or the over-eager kid) is champing at the bit.

Missed it by a hair's breath (or worse, missed it by a hairs breath): Without taking a single anatomy course, a grammarian can tell you that hair does not breathe (no lungs, you see). However, a hair is rather thin. Its width, or breadth, is very scant. In fact, if you were to miss something by a hair's breadth, you may have escaped by the skin of your teeth (don't get me started).

Slight of hand: If you have a very small paw, you may indeed be very crafty with it. Sleight, however, is skillful, clever or a show of dexterity. The magician used sleight of hand to rifle the man's wallet.

-------------------

The problem with parsing or vetting the various misuses of the English language is that the battle is a losing one. Misuse over time has led many unworthy words to take on new meanings (Impact as a verb? Come on. What's wrong with affect...oh, nevermind.) The words you see incorrect today will be correct tomorrow.

The Internet will also impact (argh!) how words get slaughtered in the future. We can already thank gaming for "pwned" and who knows what for "I heart _______." Where is the love?

Anyway, I'll do my part hunting Moby Dick with a toothpick and feeling like a Latin teacher.

Spring Is Here

2008-03-27T17:17:00.003-05:00

This is my first sports column in a few years. It will run in Friday's Bison. It's kind of weird.

I am a 12 year old covered in dirt.
I am the dashing, leaping, sliding, grinding, spitting, shouting wreck of prepubescent awkwardness made perfect for two hours. More if we go to extras.
I am the baron of the basepaths; the governor of glove; the dealer of doubles; the scourge of the squeeze; the bandito of base knocks.
I go from first to third. I tag on a pop up. I assume the double play.
I raise some chatter. I give 110. I hear “good eye.” I look alive.
I have a cork soul, and red stitching comprises my veins. I am sewn into this game like the lacing of a glove.
I am baseball. And all is right.

———————

I am a 16 year old nursing a blister.
I am the husky, determined, forceful, introspective, frustrated, pock-marked, gnasher of teeth set to put you back on your heels if you crowd my plate.
I am the sultan of the slider; the sorcerer of the four-seamer; the purveyor of punishment; the mayor of menace; the banisher of balk.
I circle my changeup. I break a 12-6 curve when the coach isn’t looking. I look you back to first base.
I throw high and tight. I throw low and away. I throw behind you.
I’m lively and tightly strung. I am rough and leathery, dimpled from taking my first big hits.
I am baseball. And I am the last hurrah.

––––––––––––––––

I am a 22 year old delaying a term paper.
I am the plodding, weak-armed, worried, preoccupied, lobber of softballs who claps for your fine catches of my hopeful line drives.
I am the caliph of congratulations; the pharaoh of fair play; the grandmaster of “good game, guys;” the dandy of diving and missing; the mystic of misjudgment.
I hit three fouls. I get under the ball. I focus on my schoolwork.
I make you “move in a bit, outfield.” I make you shift your infield. I take a strike and nod my agreement to the pitcher. I walk.
I am a dead ball knuckling to the fourth outfielder. I am replaced in the fifth because I’m not focused on the game.
I am baseball — sort of. And I am not going quietly.

––––––––––––––––

I am a 27 year old paying way too much for field level.
I am the all-seeing, number-crunching, score-keeping, box score bandit who’s going to buy some nachos in the middle of the fourth and petition the league to count the ground-rule double as a home run like back in the old days.
I am the champion of cheer; the sage of sabermetrics; the Berra of bleacher wisdom; the rabbi of rant; the herald of history.
I prognosticate. I compare splits. I scrawl a backwards K.
I stay up for the West Coast games. I add up OPS. I take a flier on a fantasy up-and-comer.
I am a doctored mass of rawhide ready to play — or watch — two. I am a wily veteran taking the field again and trying to stoke the fire.
I am 12. I am 16. I am 22.
I am covered in dirt.
I am baseball. And it’s nice to be back.

-30-

Meme: Passion Quilt

2008-03-17T15:29:00.004-05:00

Re: Elrod Tag.
Hope I did all this right. Mark took my tags.

Rules: Post a picture or make/take/create your own that captures what YOU are most passionate for students to learn about.

Give your picture a short title.

Title your blog post “Meme: Passion Quilt.”

Title: A Voice for the Voiceless

A controversial photo for a controversial subject. The picture was taken by South African photojournalist Kevin Carter in 1993. The photo depicts a starving Sudanese girl hunched over in fatigue on her way to a feeding station. The reality of the situation in the Sudan was driven home by the expectant vulture in the background. Carter said the child eventually moved on towards the feeding station, and he shooed off the bird. The photo won Carter the Pulitzer Prize; it's one of the most recognized Pulitzer winners that I reference in class. A few months after his win, partially because of the horrors he'd seen, Carter committed suicide.

I developed my title long before I settled on a picture after being tagged. The picture had (has) an immediate and palpable effect on those who'd seen it splashed across the New York Times in '93. The Times, in its obituary, said Carter's image became "metaphor for Africa's despair." The photo highlighted the realities of famine (and, by extension, Sudan's civil war) for countries unaware of the plague. When I teach Editing for Print Media, this is one of about a dozen photos I ask students to decide whether or not they would run in their newspaper — the main criterion being its newsworthiness. They have unanimously seen its power to inform.

The thought of giving voice to the voiceless is what originally drew me into journalism. Protection under the First Amendment gives journalists a mandate to protect the governed from the governing. I stress this responsibility to every class I instruct. Information is essential to people as they shape, understand and react to their world. Journalists should, and some do, provide this service to their communities. This picture brought a new world to the world at large. Words have a similar power. Whether it be through stories on civil rights in the 1960s, slavery in the 1800s, presidential malfeasance in the 1970s and 1990s or storm relief in the 2000s, journalists have empowered their world by bringing to light things many preferred kept in the dark.

-sidenote-
My students and I are lucky to have such a power afforded us. Press atrocities occur far too often internationally. The Committee to Protect Journalists lists the number of journalists killed in Iraq at 127 (the vast majority of them Iraqi). Journalists have routinely been jailed in Iran, Cuba and this year's Olympic host, China. It takes a free press to bring these atrocities to light, and it takes an informed people to bring about the necessary change.
-end sidenote-

It is a time of change, but I am cautiously optimistic (which, if you are a journalist, is the only way to be optimistic) that the traditional ideas I have written about will be sustained. In this age of traditional media downturn, the press has become the computer screen you read this on now. The responsibility remains.

2008 Senior Circuit Primer

2008-02-28T23:39:00.004-06:00

In March I feel like the primer button on lawn mower for about 30 days.

I just can't wait for real, now-it-counts baseball. March and its training just gets me champing at the bit. I'm nervous about spring injuries (Rafael Furcal) and antsy about waiting for position battles to be settled.

In lieu of having anything better to do with a late Thursday evening (and, let's face it, this really is a baseball blog with some personal anecdotes (read: lists) thrown in) I will lay out the prospects for the 2008 season according to my best estimation.

Part I: The National League

2007 Finish
N.L. West
1. Arizona Diamondbacks (90-72; Lost NLCS)
2. Colorado Rockies (90-73; Won Pennant)
3. San Diego Padres (89-74)
4. Los Angeles Dodgers (82-80)
5. San Francisco Giants (71-91)

N.L. Central
1. Chicago Cubs (85-77; Lost NLDS)
2. Milwaukee Brewers (83-79)
3. St. Louis (78-84)
4. Houston (73-89)
5. Cincinnati Reds (72-90)
6. Pittsburgh Pirates (68-94)

N.L. East
1. Philadelphia Phillies (89-73; Lost in NLDS)
2. New York Mets (88-74)
3. Atlanta Braves (84-78)
4. Washington Nationals (73-89)
5. Florida Marlins (71-91)

2008 Projected Finish
N.L. West
1. Arizona Diamondbacks (Win Pennant)
2. Los Angeles Dodgers (Wild Card)
3. Colorado Rockies
4. San Diego Padres
5. San Francisco Giants

N.L. Central
1. Milwaukee Brewers (Lose NLDS)
2. Chicago Cubs
3. Houston Astros
4. Cincinnati Reds
5. St. Louis Cardinals
6. Pittsburgh Pirates

N.L. East
1. New York Mets (Lose NLDS)
2. Philadelphia Phillies
3. Atlanta Braves
4. Washington Nationals
5. Florida Marlins

Awards
MVP: Prince Fielder; Hanley Ramirez; Brandon Webb
Cy Young: Brandon Webb; Johan Santana; Chad Billingsley
Rookie of the Year: Joey Votto; Cameron Maybin
Manager of the Year: Ned Yost; Joe Torre
Comeback Player of the Year: Andruw Jones; Matt Clement

My N.L. All-Stud Team (1st; 2nd; 3rd)*
C - Russell Martin (LA); Brian McCann (Atl); Geovany Soto (Chi)
1B - Albert Pujols (Stl); Prince Fielder (Mil); Ryan Howard (Phi)
2B - Chase Utley (Phi); Brandon Phillips (Cin); Freddy Sanchez (Pit)
3B - David Wright (NY); Ryan Braun (Mil); Aramis Ramirez (Chi)
SS - Hanley Ramirez (Fla); Jose Reyes (NY); Jimmy Rollins (Phi)
OF1st - Matt Holliday (Col); Carlos Lee (Hou); Brad Hawpe (Col)
OF 2nd - Adam Dunn (Cin); Alfonso Soriano (Chi); Carlos Beltran (NY)
OF 3rd - Matt Kemp (LA); Eric Byrnes (AZ); Hunter Pence (Hou)
SP1st - Brandon Webb (AZ); Johan Santana (NY); Jake Peavy (SD)
SP2nd - Dan Haren (AZ); Chris Young (SD); Roy Oswalt (Hou)
SP3rd - Carlos Zambrano (Chi); Chad Billingsley (LA); Cole Hamels (Phi)
SP4th - Yovani Gallardo (Mil); Brad Penny (LA); Tim Lincecum (SF)
SP 5th - Aaron Harang (Cin); John Smoltz (Atl); Pedro Martinez (NY)
RP1 - Billy Wagner (NY); Takashi Saito (LA); Matt Capps (Pit)
RP2 - Trevor Hoffman (SD); Manny Corpas (Col); Jonathan Broxton (LA)
*This does not reflect fantasy studs (necessarily)

Youth Movement (Great young players on the rise)
• Justin Upton (AZ)
• Geovany Soto (Chi)
• Joey Votto (Cin)
• Homer Bailey (Cin)
• Ian Stewart (Col)
• Cameron Maybin (Fla)
• Andrew Miller (Fla)
• Hunter Pence (Hou)
• Matt Kemp (LA)
• James Loney (LA)
• Andy LaRoche (LA)
• Jonathon Meloan (LA)
• Yovani Gallardo (Mil)
• Manny Parra (Mil)
• Mike Zagurski (Phi)
• Phillip Humber (NY)
• Lastings Milledge (DC)
• Elijah Dukes (DC)
• Colby Rasmus (Stl)
• Chris Perez (Stl)
• Nate Schierholz (SF)
• Tim Lincecum (SF)

Notes:
• The Giants will lose 100 games or more this season. Brian Sabean will finally be fired.
• The Pirates will lose more games than the Marlins.
• When will the Pirates win again? Not in the foreseeable future. Their farm needs to be resown, and their ML staff is almost empty of parts to sell.
• The N.L. West is the second toughest division in baseball (A.L. Central is first). The weighted schedule is a horrifically unfair system that rewards average teams in weak divisions.
• Also horrifically unfair is interleague play. The Dodgers get to face the A.L. Central this year (not K.C.). Yipee.
• Arizona gets my nod this year in the NL because of their strong pitching and offensive potential. I guess I envision them putting it all together at the right time like the Rockies in 07.
• Brandon Webb is just sick. He will be great for years because of his nasty sinker.
• Atlanta better win this year because Glavine and Smoltz are all that spark in their rotation. Strike that, it's just Smoltz.
• The Cubs look good on paper, and I think they'll really be fighting it out with the Brewers for the Central (none of the other teams are any good). Until Soriano is ready to grow up and hit third, I'm just not that fearful. Felix Pie still has a lot to prove and Theriot is speed and speed (if you don't know by know, speed is ridiculously overrated). Ted Lilly won't be as good as last year, and who knows about possibly crazy Zambrano. I see Fukudome with this line: 23HR/70RBI/.350OBP/.450. Their rotation seems holey, but their bullpen is nice.
• The Brewers could have it all if Sheets starts 25-30 games. Fielder is mash, Braun is mash jr. Gallardo will be his generation's greatest pitcher (sorry). Hardy and Hart are hearty (and potential studs). The questions are bullpen and health, but no one outside of L.A. and S.D. can guarantee a great bullpen from year to year. I'm on Brewer Bandwagon.
• I will post separately on the Dodgers, but Andy LaRoche will be a solid three bagger. he's much better than Nomore Garciaparra. Also, look for a HUGE year out of James Loney (I'm kocking everything wooden in sight).
• I'm going to write about these things this season: making the ground-rule double a home run, killing interleague play and weighted schedules, signing service-timers to long term contracts before they reach free agency and starting up an old school baseball crank society.
• Bonds will play for the Giants sometime after the start of the season.
• Jose Reyes will steal 99 bases.
• The Rockies' pitching will fail them.
• Griffey Jr. will play in 110 games.
• Fielder and Dunn will each hit 50 homers.
• Fielder and Holliday will chase the triple crown.
• The National League will finally win the All-Star Game.

Up From Sloth

2008-01-31T00:10:00.000-06:00

Things that have occurred during my blogging sabbatical:

1. The wifer and I bought our first car; it's a 2008 Nissan Rogue.
2. I took a week's vacation in Destin, Fla.
3. I took another week's vacation in Yucaipa, Calif.
4. In a span of less than a week I spent several minutes quietly pondering the reason of my existence whilst overlooking the Atlantic and the mighty Pacific oceans.
5. I saw "No Country for Old Men" and loved it.
6. I saw "There Will Be Blood" and thought it was better than OK.
7. I saw "Juno" and enjoyed it (but it's no Oscar winner).
8. I rented "Network" and thought it was incredible.
9. I attended four X-mas parties.
10. I X-mased in Lavaca, Ark.
11. I levied three Fs.
12. My class got a sweet shout out in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette.
13. I read "Moby-Dick" and reread "Outer Dark."
14. I discovered a deep love for My Morning Jacket and Lyle Lovett.
15. I learned I'll be teaching speech and laughed at where the wheel of fortune had spun me.
16. I got to spend some quality time with my nephews.
17. I watched more political coverage than football.
18. I still did not settle on a political candidate to support.
19. I saw a stark circle around the moon.
20. I had a catch with my old man.

Overall it was a pretty fine sabbatical. I feel like I have some new posting ideas kicking around the vault.

We'll see what leaps out of the box — I think I heard Hope kicking around in there (then again, maybe it was Change).

My 100

2007-11-16T15:28:00.000-06:00

My friend Jim recently compiled a list of 100 things about himself most people don't know. He encouraged readers of his blog to do the same. While I generally consider myself an open wound choking on my foot more often than not, here go I.

1. I used to be a huge Barry Bonds fan.
2. I am loyal to a fault.
3. I'd rather lick the floor than eat cottage cheese.
4. I believe still waters run deep, but I have a terrible time keeping my mouth shut.
5. Teaching on a Bible subject in front of Bible professors is a major fear of mine (chapel!).
6. I hate grading papers.
7. I want to live in a cabin in the mountains.
8. I wish to be a cowboy.
9. I'm an apologetic early adopter. Sorry.
10. I don't believe that people are born good (but I want to).
11. I know more obscure baseball numbers than scriptures.
12. I have a hard time responding to praise.
13. I have an equally hard time responding to scorn.
14. I too often care what other people say (or don't say) about me.
15. I have been pooped on three times (two birds, one kitten).
16. I have battled athlete's foot off and on since 9th grade.
17. I like to play with things in the examining rooms in doctors' and dentists' offices.
18. As a teenager, I used to shoot people on the sidewalks with a water gun while cruising with friends.
19. I would do that again.
20. I can recite the books of the Old Testament in 9 seconds.
21. L.A. Confidential is one of my favorite movies.
22. My iPod has 3,654 songs on it.
23. 272 of those songs are Dave Matthews and Band.
24. 121 are Counting Crows songs.
25. 118 Beatles songs.
26. 78 are James Taylor.
27. Smoking pot was my biggest temptation as a teen.
28. I've never inhaled anything.
29. My No.1 vacation spot is the Baseball Hall of Fame.
30. I love cool jazz.
31. This is my wife's favorite number.
32. I love attending L.A. Kings games almost as much as Dodger games.
33. I used to have a terrible temper.
34. Black is my favorite color (or absence of color).
35. Many people have told me I look like either a gang banger or a drug dealer in my freshman yearbook mugshot.
36. I used to slick my hair back (ala Steve Lavin)
37. I feel guilty rooting for the UCLA Bruins because I didn't go to school there.
38. I thought I could strike it rich as a journalist before I got to university.
39. Sometimes I use British idioms.
40. My mother wrote my initials on all of my baseball cards when i was in first grade.
41. I keep a notebook full of words I have to look up.
42. I used to read the dictionary when I would talk to former girlfriends on the phone late at night.
43. I asked my mother to revoke my phone privileges so I wouldn't have to talk to my girlfriend on the phone for a month (not Ashlee).
44. I shot a hummingbird with a BB gun after I found out Tupac Shakur died.
45. I was a rap fan when I was 15 and 16.
46. My first post-rap favorite band was Hootie and the Blowfish.
47. As a teen, I twisted one of the washer fluid spouts on my truck to squirt at cars/people while I was driving.
48. I've never punched anyone in the face with all my might.
49. I think less of people who enjoy NASCAR.
50. I've read the entirety of the Harry Potter series.
51. This embarrasses me.
52. And it wasn't very good.
53. I am unhealthily obsessed with Cormac McCarthy.
54. I am a major book snob.
55. If you tell me one of these movies is your favorite ever — Anchorman, The Holiday, any romcom with Julia Roberts — I will never take you seriously again, and I will walk barefoot around your house.
56. I am also a movie snob.
57. My wife won't let me use the phrase "Katy, bar the door."
58. I have an autographed Time magazine of Barack Obama.
59. I have not voted in the last two presidential elections.
60. I voted for Alan Keyes in the 2000 primaries.
61. I don't air my political persuasions with my class (although I encourage them to do so, just not in their news stories).
62. I will vote, and fight, for freedom of speech and freedom of religion.
63. I am obsessed with SCOTUS.
64. This fascinates me.
65. I prefer facts to opinion.
66. I love being married.
67. Arrested Development is the funniest television show I have seen or will ever see.
68. Laughing at most of the jokes on Arrested Development makes me feel guilty.
69. I can reduce everything to a baseball analogy.
70. I made at least two teachers cry during my high school years.
71. I would not have been friends with me during high school.
72. I won a junior bowling league in 1997.
73. One addiction I can never overcome — no matter how much I may want to — is golf.
74. I believe in the power of brand names (to my discredit).
75. I'd rather have an earthquake than a tornado warning.
76. I can stand living in the South largely because of its literary tradition.
77. But I was made to live in the West.
78. I want to live in Flagstaff, Ariz.
79. I invented the word, "coolness."
80. I bite my nails; not out of nervousness but because I find them delicious.
81. The above is a prime example of my kind of humor.
82. Frasier is 10 times better than Cheers.
83. My dream job was to be a journalism professor.
84. My pipe-dream job is to be an MLB general manager.
85. Father-son literary themes get me every time.
86. I seek out things that will make me cry.
87. Old people sometimes creep me out.
88. This is my favorite number in succession.
89. I believe the power of witness is as or more important than the thing itself (except for the sacrificial death of Christ).
90. This is why I sought out reporting.
91. In my latter teens I became obsessed with secular philosophy.
92. I'm talking to my wife right now.
93. I tell her she is one of the great sleepers of our time.
94. One of my new favorite verses is Jonah 2:8.
95. If baseball were a religion, I would be its pope and Holy Roman Emperor.
96. I hate Chex Mix.
97. The nerd in me recognizes the nerd in you and in that recognition is our oneness.
98. Grammar is probably my forte, but I am a poor self editor.
99. I want a motorcycle.
100. This is the most I've ever written about myself without using the word ennui.
101. I never quite know when to stop.

An Incredible Story

2007-10-18T23:20:00.000-05:00

I often struggle with cynicism in my life. I'm not sure why it is such a temptation for me, but it is and I wish it weren't. The true pain of cynicism is to discredit sincerity and sometimes love. When these are discredited, I sometimes feel an emotional disconnect in my faith; if you discredit sincerity and love, how can you truly appreciate the sacrifice of God's only Son?

I'm sitting in a hotel room in Kansas City an emotional wreck having just read this story. I am blown away by the love given to be shared among mere mortals. It speaks of God. I have heard people speak of love languages before, especially during marriage counseling. Tonight I feel that love is holy language. It is the only response worthy of utterance; the height of expression is simply love.

To read this story and hear of the lives touched by the sacrifice of one, I am reminded of a savior taken unjustly and made to be donor for our sake; that one should be given so that all may live.

And I am silenced before an inconceivable God

Most worthy of praise

And He is One

The Scrap Factor: Playoff Predictions

2007-10-03T21:57:00.000-05:00

I have a theory about the World Series and who wins it:

The Scrap Factor.

There is a large contingent of baseball fans who choose to rely on mathematical, empirical evidence to determine a player — and by extension a team — who is desirable. These are players with OPSes over 850, VORPs over 40 and Runs Created in the 90-120 region. Unfortunately, not every team can afford a player with such a highly sought after skill set. Many teams choose to fill these holes with pablum. Often, players who fit this description are journeymen, AAAA players and "scrappy" players. The Scrap Factor hypothesis is built on the backs of the scrappy player.

A scrappy player is that player who dives for every batted ball, chatters up the outfield, runs out foul balls (not that there's anything wrong with that) and still thinks it's a good idea to try and bunt for a hit or steal a base. Roughly, the scrappy archetype is Tanner from "Bad New Bears." Scrappy players often have very low OPS numbers but are still called on to bat leadoff because "speed never slumps." These players often become fan favorites because fans can relate to them. For some reason, the players who make everything look difficult are the ones fans view as hard workers. It's sort of why I root for Batman (even though I would probably rather have Superman on my softball team).

But there may be another reason fans love the scrappy player: success. Here is a look at the 21st Century's World Series champions (2001-2006) and their scrappy contingent:

2001: Arizona Diamondbacks: Craig Counsell, Tony Womack(Big scrap year for the Snakes)
2002: Anaheim Angels: Darin Erstad, Adam Kennedy and David Eckstein (the Romulus of Scrap)
2003: Florida Marlins: Alex Gonzalez, Luis Castillo and Juan Pierre (the Remus of Scrap)
2004: Boston Red Sox: Johnny Damon, Poey Reese and Dave Roberts (Although they were/are a sabermetrically run team)
2005: Chicago White Sox: Tad Iguchi and Scott Podsednik (included in the Mt. Rushmore of Scrap with Pierre and Eckstein)
2006: St. Louis Cardinals: Aaron Miles, So Taguchi (just a terrible player) and old friend Eckstein.

Looking over this list (and at the opponents these scrappy teams knocked off) it becomes apparent that there may be some relation between scrap factor and postseason success (but not necessarily season success, hence the reason so many wild card teams have won the series in the past few years).

This year, the postseason teams feature several scraptastic players:
Anaheim Angels of Anaheim: Reggie Willits, Chone Figgins (may be headed for the Rushmore) and Maicer Izturis
Boston BandWagons: Coco Crisp and Julio Lugo (but both should have real value beyond scrap, which could hurt their scrap factor)
Cleveland Indians: Josh Barfield, Kenny Lofton and Grady Sizemore (Sizemore's sick real talent demolishes their scrap factor)
New York Yankees: A virtually no-scrap team. It's hurt them before.
Arizona Diamondbacks: Eric Byrnes (Tanner in non-fiction) and Scott Hairston (and Stephen Drew is wining major scrap points this year)
Chicago Bandwagons: Ryan Theriot (and he's actually OK). Very small scrap factor (unless you include Fontenot).
Colorado Rockies: Jamey Carroll (on the bench) and Willy Taveras (injured) leave all the scrap on Kaz Matsui's shoulders. Small scrap offering.
Philadelphia Phillies: Shane Victorino (major scrap alert). I would like to include Jimmy Rollins, but that guy is awesome. There is no scrap to be found anywhere on him (except for the steals).

If I were picking based purely on the scrap factor this would be your World Series:
Angels (4) over Diamondbacks (1)

My real picks for the 2007 Postseason:
NLDS
Diamondbacks 3, Cubs, 1 (Pitching, 'Pen)
Rockies 3, Phillies 0 (Hitting, 'Pen)
NLCS
Diamondbacks 4, Rockies 2
ALDS
Red Sox 3, Angels 2 (Money)
Indians 3, Yankees 0 (Sabbathia)
ALCS
Red Sox 4, Indians 3
World Series
Red Sox 4, Diamondbacks 1 (MVP: Josh Beckett)

Soon: An awards season primer.

VENT Vol. 1

2007-10-03T09:31:00.000-05:00

I just paid my first parking violation ticket in my now seven years at this university. I have never parked where I wasn't supposed to.

Two weeks ago my wife was suffering with immense back pain after aggravating a disc injury she's had since she was in college. The problem is very debilitating, and it is very painful for her to do anything other than be still. Because she started a new job a little more than a month ago, she can't really miss more than the day and a half she already had. One thing that is difficult for her when she suffers this pain is driving. Ashlee's car is standard, and the herky-jerky motion required to drive this kind of engine especially hurts her. She asked me to drive her car last Monday so she could drive my automatic to work. I agreed and found a faculty/staff park with it when I returned to work.

I returned to the car after work and found two tickets pressed between the windshield and the wiper blade. One was a $15 citation for "parking in a staff or reserved slot." The other was a $30 charge for having a "sticker not visible/improperly registered." At this point I was not angry; how was anyone to know my predicament?

Printed on the ticket is a Web address where I could go and pay or appeal my fine. I assumed
that — given the circumstances and the fact that my faculty-stickered car was not currently taking up a spot — the fines would be dismissed with a wave and a smile if not with a reminder that the car should be registered. I made my case, told how I was a faculty member parking in a faculty spot and I even related my wife's back troubles. This morning I received judgment:

The $15 citation:
"After a careful review of your citation appeal, the Traffic Appeals Committee has decided to accept your appeal. All charges for this traffic citation will be removed from your record. Put a note in the window so the officer will know. The sticker allows the car to park in faculty staff parking not your title." (But the title deems me worthy of stickering in the first place. Which came first, the sticker or the hire?)

The $30 citation:
"After a careful review of your citation appeal, the Traffic Appeals Committee has decided to reduce the amount of your citation fine. Please remit payment for the citation within 10 days to avoid late fees. You may pay for the citation online at ... or you may pay in the Business Office. (sic) Stidkers are free and take just minutes to obtain online. Register the car and put a sticker in the windshield."

My fine was reduced to $15. Maybe I'll take a few extra pens and notebooks home from the office to balance the books.

68 Percent of Baseball Players Are Kinda Dumb

2007-10-01T15:22:00.000-05:00

What a Play-In game. Too bad I only saw 12.5 innings.

A recent Sports Illustrated poll asked 257 baseball players (nonpitchers) "Which individual hitting statistic is the most meaningful?"

Their answers:
No. 1 Runs Batted In (41%)
No. 2 On-Base Percentage (19%)
No. 3 Batting Average (13%)
No. 4 On-Base Plus Slugging OPS (11%)
No. 5 Runs (6%)
No. 6 Home Runs (4%)
No. 7 Batting average with runners in scoring position (2%)
No. 8 Tie: Two-Out RBIs, Slugging, Strikeouts

It's easy to see why traditionalists would label this stat so important. As an offensive athlete, the ability to produce a run for your team is paramount. Big RBI numbers, on the surface, appear to prove you can provide these runs. They make up the third prong of the Triple Crown in baseball, so that adds to the mystique. However, more than showing ability, a high RBI count is often indicative the high on-base percentage of others. Hence, RBI is mostly about opportunity. A meaningful statistic for offensive performers should be something that isolates their output to what is truly their output.

Depending on what I want out of a player (or where I am going to bat him), the most important of these traditional stats is going to be either OPS or on-base percentage. High in the order, I'll want my hitter who's best at getting on base. Later in the order I'll want someone who's going to drive the leadoff hitters in. This is why Juan Pierre is a spare as a leadoff batter. He makes far too many outs without getting on base. Hence, the Dodgers' "power hitters" have no one to drive in and our leading RBI man has 87. Both on-base and OPS take walks into account. The goal of baseball is to use your 27 outs wisely. The wisest way is to not use them (steals, bunts). OPS shows a good mix of power and the ability to get on base. If you don't go into deeper stats (such as VORP, Runs Created or EQA) OPS is the best way to judge a player's singular contribution. If I am a singles hitter or I'm a general manager who cannot afford to fill my roster with power hitters, I am going to focus on who can get on base so the power in my lineup will have someone to drive in.

General managers without the Yankees, Red Sox and Cubs budget should always focus on limiting outs. Players who get on base avoid outs.

Little Rock Nine

2007-09-26T11:32:00.000-05:00

How would you respond if the weight of a country were cast on your shoulders? If history were thrust upon you?

When it arrives, how will you respond to your moment of greatness?

Yesterday I took my print reporting class to downtown Little Rock to Central High, site of the infamous desegregation crisis in 1957. That year, nine African American students sought entrance into the all-white school. Yesterday the city, state, nation and world celebrated their brave march over the lines of hatred, fear and ignorance.

I first heard of the Little Rock Nine in an Arkansas History class I took when I was a student. I knew the state had a troubled past regarding race relations (the Elaine race riots come to mind), but I had no clue as to the depths of what amounted to state-sponsored racism.

This past week has taken me on sort of a roller coaster ride through U.S. racial segregation history. Last Thursday and Friday I took the yearbook group up to Topeka, Kansas to visit the plant where the book is printed. In 1951, a group of 13 parents sued the Topeka Board of Education. After losing its initial case in District Court (based on the ruling in Plessy v. Ferguson, which allowed facilities to be separate but equal), the Brown case was reviewed by the U.S. Supreme Court in 1954, by which time four similar cases had been rolled into the same case under Brown v. Board of Education. The Warren Court unanimously overturned the lower court's ruling (and effectively Plessy v. Ferguson) and in 1955 demanded that the court's decision be complied with post haste. There is a national historic site in Topeka commemorating the ruling.

Tuesday, back in Arkansas, I visited the historic site commemorating the most widely recognized public response to that 1954 decision. Despite the ruling, the fearmongers weren't going to give up without a fight (from the National Park Service):
• The LR school board presented a plan for gradual desegregation in 1955. The "Blossom Plan" dictated that high schools would be the first to integrate in September 1957.
• Mother's League of Central High School sought and was granted an injunction against integration at Central in August of 1957. Officials feared integration would lead to violence. The injunction was voided by a federal judge.
• Gov. Orval Faubus called on the state's National Guard to bar African American students from Central. The action was overruled, so Faubus sent in the LR police.
• More than 1,000 angry whites mob in front of the school threatening riot on Sept. 23. The Nine are ushered out of school for their safety. This was the scene of this infamous shot.
• After calling the mob scene outside Central "disgraceful," Pres. Eisenhower dispatches 1,200 members of the 101st Airborne to the school to ensure the safety of the Nine, and the students attend their first day of classes Sept. 25.
• One of the Nine, Earnest Green, graduates in May.
• Faubus, and various segregationist groups, succeed in closing Little Rock schools for an entire year. However, the times were already changing.

"They were coming here to learn," Gov. Mike Beebe said at yesterday's commemoration. "But what they actually did is teach."

It is sometimes hard for me to feel inspired. I often feel discouraged when I think of things I'd do differently in this world, because I feel like I will never have the voice or opportunity to do them. Yesterday's commemoration was a wake-up call from this way of thinking.

The Little Rock Nine are an inspiring group of individuals. Yesterday marked the first time the group has made public comments at the same event. They were riveting. They didn't use their time to spew invective against the city, state or people who treated them as less than human. They didn't bask in the righteousness of their cause 50 years ago. Instead, they were grateful. Grateful to those who supported them and those who came after them. They clearly sought not to dwell on the past, but to look ahead to the work that remains ahead of all of us. Their attitudes reflected a people set apart, not below a single soul, but probably above most. The crowd of around 4,000 was hushed, waiting on their every word. A smattering:

Melba Patillo Beals:
"I see hope. I see the elixir in your faces. ... We're going to make it. We have no choice."

Elizabeth Eckford:
"We can never have true reconciliation until we've truly acknowledged our painful and shared past."

Earnest Green:
"We were nine teenagers. We thought this was the place that would accept us. ...50 years later, I think we were right."

Gloria Ray Karlmark:
"By being here [earning an education] they are realizing something that is truly American."

Carlotta Walls Lanier:
"There are a lot of barriers out there, but you can overcome them if you know that you are doing the right thing. We knew we were doing the right thing."

Terrence Roberts:
"Look in the mirror and ask, 'What am I doing in support of the status quo.' Second, ask what you are willing to do to change that."

Minnijean Brown Trickey:
"Justice is a perpetual struggle...we must take that responsibility seriously."

I and my students will not soon forget the living lessons and legends we heard from yesterday. It is one thing to read of courage, it's another thing entirely to truly feel it's lasting effects. The spirit of good that drove these nine is present in all of us. The ability and compassion is stamped in us in that we were made in the image of God.

It's the choice that's left to us.

Next Step: Babies

2007-09-10T16:09:00.000-05:00

Meet Koufax.

My new Golden Retriever pup is 12 weeks old and shares a name with maybe the greatest pitcher in the history of the game.

Pooch gives new meaning to the term "southpaw."

A few weeks back the wife and I pondered adoption. Ashlee's normally a cat person, but after a few too many, too cute doggies in the window, I had her puppy-crazed.

We considered puggles, Australian shepherds and Siberian huskies before finding a Golden breeding family straight out of the Arkansas Traveler legend. While the family seemed a bit suspect, we were sold when we met the unnamed pup you see here.

Koufax had a brother, but he seemed a bit too rambunctious; this family doesn't do rambunctious. Koufax was the one, and we plumbed the depths of our minds to come up with a proper name. Some selections:

Sebastian (too long)
Judge Holden (Judge for short? No)
Dodger (too obvious)
Gibson (awesome, but also the name of my deceased dwarf hamster)
Rooney (probably option No. 2)
Hannibal Barca (would have been awesome if I had come up with it before right now)

The first night Koufax stayed in our laundry room. We woke up Sunday morning to the fresh smell of puppy fudge all over our tile. It seems he skated on it all night. I got the scent out using Ashlee and bleach. Incidentally, this was puppy's last night inside.

That day we bought a portable kennel. Dog trainers laud the use of crates to train dogs where to and where not to make dog water and fudge. While it's seemingly cruel to leave a puppy cooped up for hours at a time, puppy books assured me I was doing well by him. The idea is to allow the pooch just enough room in his crate to turn around and lie down. Puppies do not like to eliminate where they sleep, so puppies learn to wait for greener pastures to foul than their "den," which is the role the crate fills. We've had some accidents along the way, but Koufax is getting much better at holding in his elimination until he hits grass. Fortunately for Ash and I, Koufax suffers a bit from gender identity; he pees like a chick (no hiking). I think he realizes he's not doing it right. He gets into a lunge position to do business and looks at me with his head cocked, mouth open as if to say "I really have no idea what I'm doing here." You're saving my walls and tires, buddy.

Today was a rough one for Koufax. As Ashlee readied for a marketing field trip, she let Koufax fool around in the garage out of his crate. He nibbled some breakfast, peed some floor and squeezed some toy. Sometime during his adventures, he stood against a storage tub and pulled down his good-boy treats. Petco (for those of you without) offers sundry treats for dogs near the front of its store. Last time we were there we bought him about half a pound to use as we taught him some tricks (sit is pretty tricky, right?). This morning at 7:55 there were roughly 30 treats left in the bag. At 8 a.m. there were none. At Noon-30 today, they were back at the bottom Koufax's crate floor, surrounded by a brownish lake of puppy purge. I let him out his crate immediately and he hobbled over to the grass for an odd pee/toss combination. He proceeded to throw about eight to 10 more times before I could corral him in my Jeep and race to the vet.

They called an hour ago to say his vomit is no longer proceeding north, but is now headed south (and how). She recommended boarding him tonight. He'll feel better in the morning, then it's time for more inoculations. In the meantime I'll be scouring the Beauchamp Estate grounds for puppy muffins.

Wish us luck.

College Campus Press Act

2007-09-04T13:30:00.000-05:00

I'm a member of a college media adviser listserv. This means I hear daily how students and advisers are fighting (or not fighting) with school administrators over prior review/restraint.

Many of these advisers work at public universities. One adviser recently sent this along. I've highlighted the most interesting points. This is a move that speaks highly of the Illinois legislature and governor. It would be a dream come true to see more states, and universities, pass legislature/policies like this one. When you put faith in students, I can't help but see how it will be rewarded.

Note: Adviser is spelled with an "E." The Act itself gets this wrong under Sect. 20

College Campus Press Act

(SB0729 approved by the General Assembly in June 2007, signed by governor Aug. 31, 2007. Effective Jan. 1, 2008)

AN ACT concerning education.

Be it enacted by the People of the State of Illinois, represented in the General Assembly:

Section 1. Short title. This Act may be cited as the College Campus Press Act.

Section 5. Definitions. For purposes of this Act:

Section 10. Public forum. All campus media produced primarily by students at a State-sponsored institution of higher learning is a public forum for expression by the student journalists and editors at the particular institution. Campus media, whether campus-sponsored or non campus sponsored, is not subject to prior review by public officials of a State-sponsored institutions of higher learning.

Section 15. Grammar and journalism standards. Collegiate student editors of campus media are/responsible for determining the news, opinions, feature content, and advertising content of campus media. This Section does not prevent a collegiate media adviser from teaching professional standards of grammar and journalism to collegiate student journalists. A collegiate media adviser must not be terminated, transferred, removed, otherwise disciplined, or retaliated against for refusing to suppress protected free expression rights of collegiate student journalists and of collegiate student editors.

Section 20. Injunction and declaratory relief. A collegiate student enrolled in a State-sponsored institution of higher learning or a collegiate media advisor of a State-sponsored institution of higher learning may commence a civil action to obtain appropriate injunctive and declaratory relief as determined by a court for violation of Section 10 of this Act by such State-sponsored institution of higher learning. Upon motion, a court may award attorney’s fees to a prevailing party in a civil action brought under this Section.

Section 25. Campus policy and speech distinguished. Expression made by a collegiate student journalist, collegiate student editor, or other contributor in campus media is not neither an expression of campus policy nor speech attributable to a State-sponsored institution of higher learning.

Section 30. Discipline; unprotected speech. Nothing in this Act prohibits the imposition of discipline for harassment, threats, or intimidation, unless constitutionally protected, or for speech that is not constitutionally protected, including obscenity or incitement. (Fair enough, see SCOTUS for definition)

Section 35: Immunity. A State-sponsored institution of higher learning shall be immune from any lawsuit arising from expression actually made in campus media, with the exception of the institutions own expression. (This would have come in handy when the Bison was sued by a local coffeehouse seven years ago for a negative review)

Do not taunt things with horns

2007-07-13T14:33:00.001-05:00

This is why you don't run with bulls.
The rare double-goring.

Be warned, these linked photos can be stomach churning for those with easily churned stomachs (seriously not joking).

I'm It

2007-07-12T10:37:00.000-05:00

What a busy past couple of months. First off, I'm married. Secondably, I'm a home owner. Both are incredible, and both demand large chunks of my dwindling gold.

I'll probably post a lot more abut both in the future, but first things first: I done been tagged.

First and Last

First Memory: My dad claims to remember his birth. I'm not so unfortunate. My first memory is coming home with my father after my sister was born. I was almost 3.

First Real Kiss: I'm not sure exactly what is meant by this question, but I assume it means more than a schoolboy dare. I kissed a couple in elementary, but Michelle Blaine was probably my first victim.

First Concert: With my parents: Chicago. I made them leave halfway through the show because the two broads sitting to my left were smoking like chimneys. Sans parents: Ben Folds Five. At the Palladium in L.A. I think my mom still regrets letting me go.

First Love: Ashlee Brooke Johnson-Beauchamp. It sounds like I'm trying to avoid a confrontation with my new bride, but that assumption is false. For much of my youth I didn't believe in the reality of romantic love. I had a girlfriend tell me she loved once and I told her flatly, "No you don't." Cold.

First crush: Terri something-or-other in Kindergarten. We used to play blocks together.

First thing you think in the morning: "How did the Dodgers do last night," or, if the Dodgers didn't play, "What do I have to do today?"

First book you remember loving: "Maniac MaGee." I also loved "Sideways Stories from Wayside School."

First pet: A goldfish I won after throwing a ping pong ball into its bowl. Its name was Flash.

First question you'll ask in Heaven: I guess I'd ask if creation was a literal six days or if days were used figuratively. I'd also ask Jesus about the three days between his death and resurrection.

First thing you think of when you hear the word vacation: How many Dodgers games can I go to? The second thing is Bakers, the third thing is In-N-Out (get the fries Animal Style).

First best friend: First grade. David Jenkins at McKinley Elementary in Redlands, Calif.

Last time you dressed up: May 26 in Olathe, Kan. I wore a black tux with a white shirt and a cream-colored vest and bow tie.

Last CD you bought: I bought the latest White Stripes album on iTunes, but the last actual disc I bought was Alice in Chains' "Nothing Safe: Best of the Box."

Last book you read: I finished Cormac McCarthy's "No Country for Old Men" last week (again). I am currently reading the biting, hilarious, spot-on "White Noise" by Don DeLillo. No, it's not the source material for the horror movie.

Last time you cried: Cried? I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it. All right, my eyes watered a bit at the wedding but only because I allowed it to happen.

Last movie you saw: I guess it was "Ocean's 13." It was much better than "12" but nowhere near "11."

Last time you told someone you loved them: My wife is with me; I just told her.

Last really funny thing you did: I thought it was funny, but it was also a little cold. This older lady at my parents' church in California was talking with Ashlee and I after services. She was wearing some polyester blouse with wild colors in some odd, distinctly old lady pattern. For some reason Ashlee told her she really liked her shirt. This sent the very kind and sweet blue hair into a tizzy about how her favorite store went out of business. She said she bought all of her clothes there. I quipped, "I wonder why it went out of business." (But I made it sound like it had a ? at the end rather than a .)

Last thing you watched on TV: DVD of "Arrested Development."

Last Halloween costume: Ashlee and I went to her social club's fall function, which had a Halloween theme. I put on a white t-shirt we had written the words "East Germany" on, and she threw one on that said "West Germany." We fashioned a brick wall out of cardboard paper and kept it between us the whole night. At the end of the function, as we sat around a bonfire, we ceremoniously tossed our wall in the fire. It was our finest moment as a couple.

Last Concert attended: I saw Coldplay in Dallas in 2005 with Ashlee. They covered Johnny Cash; it was a good show. I want to go see Counting Crows in Tulsa this month, but I'll probably miss out.

As it hasn't been updated in a couple of months, I doubt anyone still reads my blog. But if they ever do, I'll tag:
Renee Lewis
Rick Butler

Steal The Man

2007-05-09T16:41:00.000-05:00

Almost 50 and Rickey Henderson still owns it.

The Hall of Fame-lock wasn't about to give up the foul ball he snagged at AT&T Park on Monday. Can't say I blame him. I've probably attended 40-50 MLB games and I have yet to snag one. I've had a player at spring training toss me a BP ball, and I've found a practice puck under my seat at a hockey game, but I have yet to get my hands on a batted game ball.

On that fateful day when I finally reel one in, some kid will have to pry it from my cold, dead hand to get it from me.

Book it.

News Bulletin

2007-04-26T13:53:00.000-05:00

This just in...

Apparently changing genders is a panacea for all sorts of social and professional ills.
According to an LA Times sports reporter, it even cures writer's block.

This may be something I should look into.

Jackie Blue

2007-04-13T20:52:00.000-05:00

Here's to you, Jackie.

Not only are you the most important baseball player who ever lived (or will ever live), but your first game stands as the greatest moment in Dodger, if not baseball, history.

You were a man among men, even among hateful men. You are a sterling example of character in a world — and a profession — that is sorely lacking deliberately good men.

Thanks for being one of the good ones.

Thanks for being on my team; and thanks for 1955.

Thanks for April 15, 1947.

MLB Predictions

2007-03-31T18:47:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow's the big day (at least technically; 28 teams open up their seasons on Monday), the 162-game marathon that is baseball's regular season begins with the Cardinals and the Mets on ESPN2. I'll be there in HD.

To accompany the start of the start of the season, here are my predictions for the season. By the way, Sports Illustrated has its money on a Dodgers vs. Angels freeway World Series. I hope they're correct.

Regular Season (League finish in parentheses)
NL West
1. Dodgers (2)
2. Diamondbacks (6)
3. Padres (9)
4. Rockies (11)
5. Giants (13)

NL Central
1. Astros (3)
2. Brewers (WC, 4)
3. Cardinals (7)
4. Cubs (8)
5. Pirates (14)
6. Reds (15)

NL East
1. Mets (1)
2. Phillies (5)
3. Braves (10)
4. Marlins (12)
5. Nationals (16)

AL West
1. Angels (2)
2. Athletics (8)
3. Rangers (9)
4. Mariners (12)

AL Central
1. Indians (3)
2. White Sox (WC, 4)
3. Tigers (7)
4. Twins (10)
5. Royals (13)

AL East
1. Red Sox (1)
2. Blue Jays (5)
3. Yankees (6)
4. Devil Rays (11)
5. Orioles (14)

Postseason
NLDS
Mets def. Brewers 3-1
Dodgers def. Astros 3-2
NLCS
Dodgers def. Mets 4-2
ALDS
Red Sox def. White Sox 3-0
Angels def. Indians 3-2
ALCS
Red Sox def. Angels 4-3
World Series
Red Sox def Dodgers 4-2

Season Awards
National League
MVP
1. Jose Reyes
2. Albert Pujols
3. David Wright
4. Ryan Howard
5. Lance Berkman
6. Roy Oswalt
7. Prince Fielder
8. Derek Lowe
9. Brandon Webb
10. Alfonso Soriano

Rookie of the Year
1. Chris Young-Diamondbacks
2. Troy Tulowitzki-Rockies
3. Andy La Roche-Dodgers

Cy Young
1. Roy Oswalt
2. Brandon Webb
3. Jave Peavy

American League
MVP
1. Grady Sizemore
2. Manny Ramirez
3. Travis Hafner
4. Johan Santana
5. Vlad Guerrero
6. John Lackey
7. Alex Rodriguez
8. Roy Halladay
9. Derek Jeter
10. Felix Rodriguez

Rookie of the Year
1. Daisuke Matsuzaka
2. Delmon Young
3. Alex Gordon

Cy Young
1. Johan Santana
2. John Lackey
3. Roy Halladay

Bold Predictions
1. Santana, Lackey and Oswalt will each win 20 games or more.
2. Chien-Ming Wang will be terrible for the Yankees, but Phillip Hughes will make everyone forget him anyway.
3. Impact September call-ups (if not earlier): Yovanni Gallardo (Brewers), Andy La Roche (Dodgers), Justin Upton (Diamondbacks), Jon Meloan (Dodgers), Homer Bailey (Reds) and Ian Stewart (Rockies).
4. Chris Carpenter, Scott Rolen and Jim Edmonds will keep the Cardinals out of the postseason (but Adam Wainwright will be solid).
5. Pitching will undo the Cubs.
6. Pitching will lift the powerless Dodgers.
7. Alex Gordon will be incredible for the Royals.
8. No one will win more than 95 games this season.
9. The Nationals will lose 110 games.
10. A Dodger will hit for the cycle.

Jeremy's Book Club

2007-03-28T16:49:00.000-05:00

Oprah is ripping me off.

I'm watching Oprah announce her next book club selection: you guessed it, the best book of all time, "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy.

Only one person listened to me when I offered up my unsolicited literary opinion. Now that Oprah's gotten behind me, I really think my suggestion will take wing. Thanks Oprah.

A lot of McCarthy fans (and yes, there is a Web site; and yes, I am a member) are a little displeased with her selection, fearing that it will take away something from the massive accomplishment that this book is. I am pleased. Not only will McCarthy get paid for the exposure, but he has also agreed to give his first-ever television interview. This is the guy who has agreed -- to my knowledge -- to only two interviews ever: one a couple years ago with Vanity Fair and one just preceding the publication of "All the Pretty Horses" with the New York Times.

Some have said Oprah's housewife book brigade will miss the point of the book. This kind of literary elitism is atrocious. I would, however, be surprised if half as many people who buy the book will actually finish it, as it's probably the most bleak and unflinching book many will ever read (until you read the rest of McCarthy).

For those who do finish, the experience is highly rewarding. I re-read the book over spring break and was shocked at how much of the incredible imagery I missed during the first go-round. This is definitely a book I will re-read throughout my life. After the first reading, I went on a bit of a Cormac bender. In the past six months since I bought "The Road" on a whim, I read all of McCarthy's other books and even a play. McCarthy started his career in the Southern gothic tradition and then moved largely to the West. The West, in my opinion, is where he thrives. If you read "The Road" read it slowly (and with the lights on).

McCarthy to Me
1. The Road
2. Blood Meridian: Or Evening Redness in the West
3. The Crossing
4. Outer Dark
5. All the Pretty Horses
6. Cities of the Plain
7. Child of God
8. Suttree
9. No Country for Old Men
10. The Orchard Keeper

As The Stomach Turns

2007-03-27T14:36:00.000-05:00

Gross
But what a great headline.

Rotation, Rotation, Rotation

2007-02-26T19:28:00.000-06:00

First spring games in two days...

I'd rather have the best rotation in baseball than the best lineup — unless I could have both. One man in a pitching rotation usually means a lot more to his team than one man in a lineup. The ideal rotation features Nos. 1-5 starters (although many, including me, believe the ideal rotation would feature only four starters).

There are far fewer than 30 No. 1 pitchers, so some teams have to try and compensate with depth rather than flash. Below are examples of starters for each traditional starting position (in strictest terms).
No. 1: Johan Santana: 18-7, 9.44 Ks per 9 innings, 1.00 whip, 5.21 K to Walk(BB) ratio, 2.77 ERA. The best pitcher in the game. Others: Chris Carpenter, Brandon Webb and Roy Oswalt.
No. 2: Jason Schmidt: 11-9, 7.59 Ks per 9, 1.26 whip, 2.25 K/BB, 3.59 ERA. Was a No. 1 until last year. Others: Jake Peavy, John Lackey and Ben Sheets.
No. 3: Derek Lowe: 16-8, 1.27 whip, 2.29 K/BB, 3.63 ERA, 3.48 groundout/flyball out ratio. Lowe is really borderline between a No. 3 and a No. 2. Others: Jake Westbrook, Dan Haren and Greg Maddux.
No. 4: Gil Meche: 11-8, 7.52 Ks/9, 1.43 whip, 1.86 K/BB, 4.48 ERA. The $55 million man better become a No. 3 or No. 2 this year; he has the potential. Others: Joe Blanton, Woody Williams and David Wells.
No. 5: Jason Marquis: 16-14, 4.45 ks/9, 1.52 whip, 1.28 K/BB, 6.02 ERA. This is why the Cubs won't win. Others: Jeff Weaver, Casey Fossum and Jae Seo.

The Cream Rotations
Each team is categorized according this mix of subjective and objective factors: Depth (10), Potential (10), Stuff (10) and cold Stats (10). Stats will place less emphasis on ERAs (which can be overrated) and records. Park tendencies will also be taken into account.
1. Boston Red Sox: 38 pts. Depth (9), Potential (10), Stuff (10), Stats (9)
Last year's staff was a bit of a letdown, but this year features some new faces that will lead to instant improvement.
Curt Schilling is a known quantity, but he remains an injury risk.
Daisuke Matsuzaka has command of at least four pitches, and all were on display at the World Baseball Classic as he owned everyone. He is projected to be a No. 1 starter, but I'll have to see him pitch against the Yankees first.
Josh Beckett has disgusting stuff that should be back in form this year. Last year his ERA spiked, but everything else looked pretty good (he's only 26, after all).
Many people who think they know something about baseball have been complaining about Jonathon Papelbon's move to the rotation. Grow up. I would rather have a pitcher with his stuff give me six-seven innings each trip rather than one every few days. His slick slider and splitter combo should be sustainable over the extended innings. The only question is his health.
Tim Wakefield is the only real weak spot for the Red Sox. Knuckleballers either have it or they don't on any particular day. He'll get raked and he'll dominate intermittently all year.
Matt Clement is past his prime, but he might still have enough in the tank to spell one of these starters should they go down.

2. Anaheim Angels: 37 pts. Depth (10), Potential (10), Stuff (9), Stats (8)
The biggest problems the Halos face are injury and sustainability. If the youth movement holds, this team is death in the postseason.
Bartolo Colon won a Cy Young he didn't deserve two years ago. Last year he suffered a rotator cuff injury, and he is projected to miss the start of the season. Colon still throws heavy gas, and, when healthy, can pitch well over 200 innings.
John Lackey is the Angels' current ace. He coupled a 1.26 WHIP with a 3.56 ERA last year. He has a plus curve and a good fastball and change. And he's only 28. This should be his career year.
Kelvim Escobar probably won't throw more than 200 innings this year — he has a tendency to get injured — but when he pitches he is as solid a No. 3 as there is in the game. Great fastball, solid moving pitches.
The Angels saved themselves the heartache of watching Ervin Santana lead some other team through the postseason. Holding onto Santana was the Halos' best move. The 24-year-old was 16-8 with a 1.23 WHIP, and opponents batted only .241 against him. Best fastball on the team, maybe in the top five of the majors. He'll be No. 2 soon.
Jered Weaver, so far, is everything his brother Jeff should have been. The kid was part of the best rookie A.L. pitching class I've ever seen. Last year he went 11-2 with a ridiculous 1.03 WHIP and a 2.56 ERA. Opponents hit only .209 against him. He may letdown a bit this year, but not enough to worry.
On the horizon for the Angels is Nick Adenhart. He may be as good as Weaver and Santana. Book it.

3. (tie) Detroit Tigers: 34 pts. Depth (8), Potential (8), Stuff (8), Stats (10)
The World Series' surprise team boasted the best team ERA (3.84) in the majors last year.
How long will Kenny Rogers last? He's not a power pitcher, but he has enough in the tank to control a big league game. I just keep wondering if he's out of gas (or pine tar).
Jeremy Bonderman is a solid pitcher. He is a power pitcher with a plus fastball. He threw 8.5 Ks/9 last year and opponents hit only .259 against him. He'll be better this year (among the top eight pitchers), and he's only 24.
I still feel Nate Robertson is a little overrated. He's 29, so I don't see him improving much on last year's stats. His sub-4 ERA was solid, even for an overrated stat. He adds to the Tigers' depth, but he's not a big potential star, like the next guy.
Justin Verlander is the best young pitcher in the game. He will not decline this year. He has a fastball that touches 99 mph and a biting curveball. He was 17-9 last year and got the Tigers to the World Series. I picked him up as soon as he was available in all my fantasy leagues last year, and he made a genius out of me. If his arm holds (and the Tigers offense is better than it looks) he could win 20 games this year.
Mike Maroth is a far cry from his 20-loss season a few years back. That said, he has health issues and an underwhelming fastball.
Andrew Miller is the next real thing for the Tigers. If Rogers or Maroth go down, I could see Miller getting an early look ala Weaver and Matt Garza last year.

3. (tie) Los Angeles Dodgers: 34 pts. Depth (10), Potential (9), Stuff (8), Stats (7)
It should be an interesting year for my team. It's nice to root for a team whose biggest pitching problem is getting starts to everyone who deserves them.
Jason Schmidt is the Dodgers' first ace (loosely defined) since Kevin Brown. A down year for Schmidt included a 3.59 ERA, 1.26 WHIP and an opponents' batting average of .238. Schmidt will be solid, and if he's healthy, he could be dominant.
Derek Lowe is a great innings eater. His sinker is one of the better pitches in the game, and his 3.48 groundball to flyball ratio shows this. He is solid, not amazing. I've also noticed that he seems to get better after the All-Star break.
Brad Penny should be traded before the All-Star break for some power. Still, it's nice to have last year's All-Star game starter in the back pocket. Penny can throw a mean fastball (when it's on) and snap off a decent curve. The biggest knock on Penny is his disaster of a season after the All-Star break. You want pitchers to finish the race, not detour to the glue factory.
Randy Wolf is an interesting, if unnecessary, addition to the Dodgers rotation. In limited action last season after his Tommy John surgery, he was a bit of a letdown. It has been said that after pitchers have the kind of surgery he had, they can be a lot better than before they went under the knife. We'll see what shows up.
The fifth starter spot is up for grabs between four pitchers: Chad Billingsley, Hong-Chih Kuo, Mark Hendrickson and Brett Tomko. Tomko and Hendrickson really have no business back in this starting rotation, but they could fit in elsewhere. Billingsley performed reasonably well in his first year in the bigs. His walk tallies were high (and therefore WHIP), but opponents hit only .272 against him and he had a 3.80 ERA. He should continue to improve, no matter what role he earns. Kuo is my pick for the Dodgers' fifth starter. He had a very compelling stat line as a starter. In 29 innings as a starter, the lefty struck out 35 batters and walked only seven. He had a 1.19 WHIP and opponents hit only .257 against him.

5. Cleveland Indians: 32 pts. Depth (8), Potential (9), Stuff (8), Stats (7)
The A.L. Central will be the deepest division in baseball again. The Indians should contend for a Wild Card slot if the offense shows up.
C. C. Sabathia turned in an incredible, under-the-radar performance last year. If people focused on more than win-loss records, more may have noticed the most improved player last year. He owned a 3.22 ERA, a 1.17 WHIP and boasted a 3.91 K/BB ratio. This guy became a No. 1 last year, and he's only 26!
Jake Westbrook had a bit of a ho-hum year for someone with a plus sinker. His ground/fly ratio was 2.72 and it could get better. Sinkerballers should always come away with wins and innings.
Cliff Lee was 14-11 last year, and that's all some people need to give him a silver star. He gets innings and he limits opponents' batting averages, but he doesn't blow me away as much as he does other cranks. He has a good mix of pitches, but none really scare me. He's no spare, but he's no Sabathia either.
Paul Byrd is over the hill at age 36. He's not a power pitcher like Clemens and Smoltz, and he's no Glavine or Maddux around the plate. Byrd's going to put balls in play and get injured. Tribe fans better hope Adam Miller matures fast.
Jeremy Sowers may be the fastest riser on the team. The kid is 23 years old, and he was the top dog on the Indians farmland last year. Sowers' innings were limited last year to preserve his arm (see Francisco Liriano and Felix Hernandez), but he should get a few more this year and excel. His rookie WHIP was 1.19 and allowed opponents only a .252 batting average. I think he'll win 15 games if he starts 25 (big IF).

Honorable Mention
6. San Diego Padres: Chris Young has "ace" written all over him. Jake Peavy should rebound from a down year.
7. Florida Marlins: No-hitter ring any bells? This is really the hardest team to leave off the top five. Look at these guys: Dontrelle Willis, Anibal Sanchez, Josh Johnson and Scott Olsen. The only question is, will they let down?
8. Chicago White Sox: Traded Freddy Garcia for a bevy of young guns. Should turn out well.
9. New York Yankees: Does Chien-Ming Wang fall flat? Is Phillip Hughes everything everyone says he is?
(tie) 10. Philadelphia Phillies (Cole Hamels!) and Milwaukee Brewers (Sheets!, Gallardo!)

Oscar Follow

2007-02-26T09:31:00.000-06:00

It's been years since I've gotten to watch the Oscar telecast, and last night's was a nice reminder of what I like about them. I really thought the producers did a great job of making the "boring" awards interesting by showing the nominees in their work. I'm not much of a movie techie, but some of that work is fascinating.

I didn't enter any work polls this year, but, since there were so many surprises, I think the complete ballot I filled out last week would have been good enough for first or second place back at the newspaper.

The Surprises:
For me, there were two huge disappointments. The biggest surprise/disappointment was Pan's Labyrinth's win for Best Cinematography. I really think this was the biggest upset in years. The best filmed movie of the year (the best filmed movie since Saving Private Ryan) was hands down Children of Men.
The second big surprise was Pan's Labyrinth's loss in the Best Foreign Language Film category. The Lives of Others? I guess voters just can't handle fantasy.
The other surprise was Alan Arkin's Best Supporting Actor win. Most picked Eddie Murphy to take it.

My Ballot
On my complete ballot I correctly named 15 of 24 winners. My short blog ballot finished 6 of 11. Here's how I did on my complete ballot.

Correct
Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Actress, Film Editing, Best Documentary Feature, Best Documentary Short, Best Supporting Actress, Visual Effects, Adapted Screenplay, Sound Mixing, Sound Editing, Live Action Short Film, Makeup, and Art Direction.

Incorrect
Original Screenplay, Animated Feature, Cinematography, Costume Design, Supporting Actor, Foreign Language Film, Original Song, Original Score, and Animated Short Film.

Hed Bustology

2007-02-23T13:10:00.000-06:00

"Spurs Beats Jazz"

If in noticing the above headline's noun-verb disagreement you became uncontrollably violent, then you definitely need to see a shrink, and you might be a good replacement for my former copy desk chief. I wrote this headline during my first three months on my first job out of college. The headline appeared on an inside sports page — specifically the NBA/WNBA page that was my charge that fateful evening. In my defense, I was loaded down with livestock-grade tranquilizers to numb the pain in my lower left wisdom tooth, which badly needed a root canal. My original headline was "Duncan Beats Jazz," referring to the Spurs' center's domination of that evening's NBA contest. In order to run a lead-hed sized font, (read: really big headline) I needed to shorten the headline. Unfortunately, my proofreaders and I failed to catch the fact that I had left the verb singular. This would not have been a big issue (for some) if the Jazz (or Magic or Heat) had won the game. However, my mistake did not make it past the copy chief, who roundly thrashed me as I returned to the rim the next day.

"Arkansas Hall Of Fame To Inducted Former HU Coach"

The above headline found its way into the worst possible location of the Bison this week: front page, above the fold. The first edition to arrive on time this year greeted me as I arrived to work this morning. I was worried about the printing on a couple of pages (you never know what you are going to get) so I popped one out, and I noticed the hed bust immediately. I asked my assistant if we had enough White Out to cover the whole shipment.

The original headline was "Former HU Coach To Be Inducted Into Hall Of Fame." I'm not the world's most ardent believer in the fallibility of the passive-voice sentence, but I thought this hed in particular would read better actively. I wrote on the proof's margins the first headline, minus the noun-verb problem. This, unfortunately, occurred at 11 p.m. The proof was returned and considered "corrected" until it was packaged and exported to PDF the next morning. No one had rechecked the "corrected" page (copy editors and advisers included) before the final process.

So who's to blame? The Bison policy, as it is with every paper I've ever worked for, should be to reprint pages that have had significant changes requested by editors or copy editors. This is usually the case, but Thursday we made the editor's critical mistake of assuming corrections had been made on one page as we turned our attention to more pressing pages. The page should have been reprinted after the headline change.

Unfortunately, all of us as a staff share in this failure. We should have followed Bison protocol on this. At a larger newspaper, one copy editor will handle press duties each night. This involves traveling to wherever the press is held (for many bigger papers, the newsroom is centrally located while the press is tucked away across town). When the editor gets to the press, he or she has precious little time to check all the trouble spots in an entire paper while the press continues to adjust their settings and plates to find the best printing. Once the press workers have their settings figured, the presses roll. The only way to stop them is to find a MAJOR mistake. A front-page, above-the-fold hed bust would definitely apply. Unfortunately for the Bison, we have no access to our press, and we have to rely on getting it right the first time.

These things happen, even to the most reputable of newspapers. As with any university-funded publication, many people on campus view the student paper as an emasculated tool of the administration, so this slight won't affect their opinion. For others, this is one more knock on our credibility. It will take some work to convince them otherwise, but it's something I know the staff cares greatly about.

Spring Fever

2007-02-16T16:51:00.000-06:00

Happy start of spring training!

For the next couple of months I’m going to focus most of my attention on the run up to baseball season. I think it’s important for me to briefly define a lot of the things I’ll be referring to during the season.

For the diehard fan, the information will be a bit of a refresher. For the casual fan, the info may answer some questions you did not know you had. For non-fans, read and join the ranks of the baseball cranks.

Terms to know:
Pitchers and catchers: No professional sport has a preseason quite like baseball. In 1886 the White Stockings headed to Hot Springs, Ark., for what may be the first instance of spring training. Around the middle of February, teams compel their batteries (a battery is the combo of the pitcher and catcher) to show up before the rest of the team to prepare for the coming season. Teams also set an early reporting date for position players soon after pitchers and catchers report. The mandatory reporting date for all players is usually during the week following the pitchers and catchers' reporting date.

Grapefruit and Cactus leagues: Since Spring Training begins in the middle of winter, teams set up their spring headquarters in either Florida or Arizona. Florida has been the most popular destination, especially for East Coast teams. Arizona has gained popularity in recent years because teams are often closer together and weather is more stable. Currently, 18 teams make up the Grapefruit League (Florida citrus), and 12 headquarter in the Cactus League (Arizona flora). Grapefruit teams play other Grapefruit teams and Cactus teams do the same.

MLB Draft (AKA Rule 4): Major League Baseball takes two days in June to run through at least 50 rounds of first-year player selection. Draft order is compiled according to the previous year's won-loss records. The draft often includes sandwich rounds between the first few rounds. During this time, teams may select newly graduated high school seniors or juniors and seniors from the college ranks. Foreign players are usually signed outside of the draft. The MLB Draft is not nearly as highly regarded as those of the NBA and NFL. This is because it takes even the highest draft picks years to break into the majors. The draft may not be as exciting, but the MLB minor league system is the stuff of dreams for the NFL and NBA. After players are drafted, they will sign a bonus and report to a rookie-level team or they will refuse to sign and enter or return to college and maintain their amateur designation. First-round picks can expect signing bonuses in excess of $2 million.

Rule 5 Draft: The Rule 5 draft is held each year in during baseball's Winter Meetings. The Rule 5 was established in order to allow more movement among players. The Rule 5 helps good players see playing time when they’re stuck in the minor leagues behind stars on their original team’s depth chart. The Rule 5 consists of one round in which teams can select one player from any other team’s minor league system. The players cannot be on the team’s 40-man roster. To protect their best players, teams will often add their best up-and-coming players to the roster just before the Rule 5. After the teams make their selections from the other teams, they have to pay $50k for the player and keep him on their 25-man roster for the entire season. If the player doesn’t stay with the major league team, they team that selected him must offer him back to his original team at a discounted rate. If the original team doesn’t want the player back, the new team can add him to their minor league rosters. The most successful recent Rule 5 draftee was multiple Cy Young winner Johan Santana, whom the Marlins drafted from the Houston Astros and traded to the Twins. It's also worth mentioning that the Dodgers lost farmhand Roberto Clemente through the very same system.

Player compensation: Major League Baseball assigns free agents value each offseason and places them in two types (A and B). If a player signs with a new team in the offseason, his old team gets compensation from the player’s new team in the form of a draft pick. If the player is quality, his departure will leave the team a Type-A draft pick. Click here for a list of this year's Type A and B players. If the player’s new team finished outside of the bottom 15, the old team gets that team’s first-round pick. If the new team was among the 15 worst teams in the previous season, the team is given a sandwich pick. The sandwich pick comes after the first round and before the second, hence sandwich. In order to get compensation for their free agents, teams must offer the exiting player arbitration. Arbitration takes place before the new season begins. A player who is elligible for arbitration asks for a certain dollar figure he thinks his services are worth and his team counters with an offer of its own. An arbitrator settles the matter. If you want a more in-depth review of the process, click here.

Hot Stove League: Hot Stove refers the offseason moves and rumors of moves (trades, free agent signees).

40-Man roster: The 40-man roster protects players from selection in the Rule 5 Draft. The 40-man roster is made up of the 25-man rosters that make up each major league team. On top of their major league squads, teams select their 15 best, most major league-ready players. In September, all teams can expand their rosters to 40 players. These players, usually blue-chip prospects, must be added to the 40-man roster. Rosters expand after the minor league season ends.

Service clock: I may talk about this more in the future, but service time is the reason you don't want to call up any of your blue chips until they are ready to contribute. You have them for six years before they can bolt for free agency. Time starts the moment they hit the bigs, even when rosters expand in September.

Defensive Spectrum: Creditied to Bill James, the defensive spectrum ranks the positions on (and off) the baseball diamond according to their degree of difficulty. The DS is a good way to build your team. While it would be nice to have power along with great fielding at every position, chances are this isn't going to happen. Specialized fielders (to the left of the spectrum) tend to have their defensive prowess honored above their offensive abilities. If you look around the league, specialized positions such as shortstop (the No. 6 fielding position) and catcher (the No. 2 fielding position) are often the weakest links in a batting order. Finding power players at these positions frees up (so to speak) your need for power at less demanding defensive positions generally considered power positions. For example, when the Dodgers signed power-hitting Jeff Kent to play second base (traditionally a defense-first position) they could theoretically be forgiven for having a weaker first baseman. Some teams (see the Yankees) can buy it all. The Defensive Spectrum (minus the designated hitter abomination) listed from most specialized to least using scoring fielder designations. The idea is that it is easier for a poor defensive player to move from left to right rather than the reverse.

1(Pitcher)>2(catcher)>6(shortstop)>4(second baseman)>8(center fielder)>
5(third baseman)>9(right fielder)>7(left fielder)>3(first baseman)
or
1>2>6>4>8>5>9>7>3

I plan on doing a few more definitions before the season begins, and I'd like to do a little post about scorekeeping, which could keep you more interested in your next game.

The Finest Thing

2007-02-14T17:26:00.000-06:00

When it's time, my love, let us go like this.

I've never been much of a smiler. I have a goofy-looking face, which is really driven home whenever I fail to stifle a laugh or I pose for a picture. Because I suffer from this facial handicap, it is often hard for me to express joy.

For me, joy often expressed itself in my gait. When I was really feeling good about something there would be a noticeable spring in my step.

For much of my life, this spring could be conjured only by what I refer to as a critical event. If I was under extreme pressure regarding a project or a dealine and I exceeded expectations, then I had the spring. If I performed extremely well during a high school baseball or basketball game, I had the spring. When I was babptized February 15, 1993 I had the spring. After high school, my spring mostly turned into a limp.

In 2001 I met Ashlee. If ever there was a smile that could sum up the artistic endeavours of the whole of the Rennaisance artists, it was hers. Eleven months after our introduction, I scribbled "I love you" on the foggy window of her Neon while she wasn't looking. Almost five years later I scabbed up my knee begging her to marry me. In three months I will stare into the eyes that have beheld my faults and my triumphs for the last five and a half years and tell my her and the God we both praise of my adoration for her and make to her the promises I will keep for the rest of my earthly life.

She is my wildly inventive valentine. She is my partner. She is my best friend. She is my selfless intended. She is an incredible influence on my life. She is my masterpiece. She is my example. She is my sweetly sung song. She is my undeserving gift. She is my critical event.

She is the now-continuous spring in my step.

Oscar Picks

2007-02-07T14:03:00.000-06:00

Award season is often vastly overrated. Any award based on subjectivity is open to scrutiny (see Bowl Championship Series). Worst among the major award shows are the music honors. The Grammys only bother to nominate what's popular so people will watch. The Academy Awards, on the other hand, usually make honorable nominations. The top-grossing movies often get passed over; last year's top grosser "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" (an abyssmal waste of time) was nominated for only four "lesser" awards: sound mixing, sound editing, art direction and visual effects. Smaller grossing films such as "The Queen" and "Little Miss Sunshine" often rate higher with voters not because they are small, but because they are better made. I'd like to think that thinking is what drives all of the nominations, but several categories lead me to believe otherwise.

Each year I like to make my own Oscar picks. I love movies and go to the theater roughly 30 times a year to see the ones that really draw my interest. Each year after the nominations are announced I like to see what's nominated to inform my opinion. However, I won't pay to see a movie I know will not interest me. I am at a bit of a disadvantage this year as a lot of films that have been nominated I won't watch. This has happened in years past, but I still do reasonably well on my guesses because I have a decent feel for the industry's pulse. It also helps to keep up with professional handicappers and entertainment reporters.

There are 24 categories that make up the Academy Awards. The big four are Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor and Best Actress. Next for me, in order of importance, are Best Original Screenplay, Best Adapted Screenplay and Best Foreign Film. Next are the supporting actor awards, cinematography and film editing. Animated feature and original score round out my top awards, the rest are just filler (OK, original song's all right). I won't bother with editing, score or any of the other "lesser" awards.

Best Picture
Nominees: Babel, The Departed, Letters from Iwo Jima, Little Miss Sunshine and The Queen
I've seen: The Departed, Letters from Iwo Jima and Little Miss Sunshine
Slights: Apocalypto and Children of Men

The worst years for this category in my lifetime were 1998 (Titanic beat out L.A. Confidential) and 1999 (Shakespeare in Love beat out Saving Private Ryan and The Think Red Line). Many handicappers are picking Babel to win this year, but I think The Departed will get a boost in the end.

Will Win: The Departed (incredible, but crass, return to form)
Should Win: Letters from Iwo Jima (100x better than Flags of our Fathers)

Best Director
Nominees: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu (Babel), Martin Scorcese (The Departed), Clint Eastwood (Letters from Iwo Jima), Stephen Frears (The Queen) and Paul Greengrass (United 93)
I've Seen: The Departed and Letters from Iwo Jima
Slights: Mel Gibson (Apocalypto), Alfonso Cuaron (Children of Men) and Guillermo Del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth)
Will Win: Scorcese (but it's a close one)
Should Win: Letters from Iwo Jima (After seeing Flags of our Fathers, I doubted Eastwood's ability to shoot a war flick. I won't make the same mistake again.)

Best Actor
Nominees: Leo Dicaprio (Blood Diamond), Ryan Gosling (Half Nelson), Peter O'Toole (Venus), Will Smith (The Pursuit of Happyness) and Forest Whitaker (The Last King of Scotland)
I've Seen: Blood Diamond and The Pursuit of Happyness
Slights: DiCaprio (The Departed), Christian Bale (The Prestige), Ken Watanabe (Letters from Iwo Jima) and Clive Owen (Children of Men)
Will Win: Whitaker (hands down)
Should Win: Tie: DiCaprio (I know some South Africans, and DiCaprio had this difficult accent down to a science. Plus, he manages to make you believe he could really be physically imposing.) and Smith (The final scenes in Happyness are some of the best acting I've seen in years.)

Best Actress
Nominees: Penelope Cruz (Volver), Judi Dench (Notes on a Scandal), Helen Mirren (The Queen), Meryl Streep (The Devil Wears Prada) and Kate Winslet (Little Children)
I've Seen: None
Slights: Ivana Baquero (Pan's Labyrinth)
Will Win: Mirren (hands down)
Should Win: N/A

Best Supporting Actor
Nominees: Alan Arkin (Little Miss Sunshine), Jackie Earle Haley (Little Children), Djimon Hounsou (Blood Diamond), Eddie Murphy (Dreamgirls) and Mark Wahlberg (The Departed)
I've Seen: Sunshine, Diamond and Departed.
Slights: Danny Huston (The Proposition), Michael Caine (Children of Men, The Presitge), Rufus Sewell (The Illusionist), Alec Baldwin (The Departed), Kazunari Ninomiya (Letters from Iwo Jima) and Jack Nicholson (The Departed)
Will Win: Many pick Murphy, but I think Wahlberg will take it.
Should Win: (Tie) Wahlberg and Hounsou (too hard)

Best Supporting Actress
Nominees: Adriana Barraza (Babel), Cate Blanchett (Notes on a Scandal), Abigail Breslin (Little Miss Sunshine), Jennifer Hudson (Dreamgirls) and Rinko Kikuchi (Babel)
I've Seen: Little Miss Sunshine
Slights: Thandie Newton (The Pursuit of Happyness)
Will Win: Hudson
Should Win: Breslin is great. She reminds me of my sister when she was younger.

Best Original Screenplay
Nominees: Babel, Letters from Iwo Jima, Little Miss Sunshine, Pan's Labyrinth and The Queen
I've Seen: Letters, Sunshine and Pan's Labyrinth
Slights: Apocalypto (You can watch this movie without words, brilliant). Brick (Chinatown for the college set. Very cool)
Will Win: Babel
Should Win: Pan's Labyrinth (Wildly inventive)

Best Adapted Screenplay
Nominees: Borat, Children of Men, The Departed, Little Children and Notes on a Scandal.
I've Seen: Borat (half), Children of Men and The Departed.
Slights: The Prestige and The Illusionist.
Will Win: (Toughest category this year) The Departed (though Children of Men makes a strong case)
Should Win: The Departed (so much to keep track of, yet it doesn't spin out of control)

Best Foreign Film
Nominees: After the Wedding, Days of Glory, The Lives of Others, Pan's Labyrinth and Water.
I've Seen: Pan's Labyrinth
Slights: L'Enfant and Curse of the Golden Flower
Will Win: Pan's Labyrinth
Should Win: Pan's Labyrinth

Best Animated Feature
Nominees: Cars, Happy Feet and Monster House
I've Seen: Cars and Monster House
Slights: Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
Will Win: Cars
Should Win: Cars

Cinematography
Nominees: The Black Dahlia, Children of Men, The Illusionist, Pan's Lanyrinth and The Presitige.
I've Seen: Children of Men, Illusionist, Pan's Labyrinth and Prestige.
Slights: Letters from Iwo Jima and Apocalypto (two of the biggest slights in this year's awards)
Will Win: Children of Men (Voters will recall the scene at the immigrant compound that features one long hand-held cut with blood on the camera. This may be the best-shot movie since Saving Private Ryan.)
Should Win: Children of Men (However, The Illusionist definitely earned its nomination. The old photograph look was inspired.)

Beauchamp's Top Films of 2006
1. Letters from Iwo Jima
2. Apocalypto
3. The Departed
4. The Prestige
5. Children of Men
6. The Proposition
7. Pan's Labyrinth
8. Blood Diamond
9. Brick
10. Curse of the Golden Flower
HM. L'Enfant, The Ilusionist, The Pursuit of Happyness and Cars.

Sundries

2007-01-31T16:21:00.000-06:00

• If it's going to snow, I wish it would just quit wasting my time.

• Last week we mourned the passing of the world's oldest person. The week before that we mourned the passing of the world's oldest person. The week before that we mourned the passing of the world's oldest person. The week before that we mourned the passing of the world's oldest person. The week before that we mourned...

• ESPN.com is reporting this week on the most novel use of the iPod to come along since it was discovered that iPods can cure cancer while solving world hunger. Apparently pitchers for the Colorado Rockies are using their video iPods between innings to study up on their upcoming opponents. Judging by some of the Rockies pitchers' WHIPs, perhaps they were actually catching up on episodes of "The Office."

• A little known fact about this year's "American Idol" is that it is being broadcast from Malebolge, with only a slight delay. Watch for it tonight at 8 p.m./7 p.m. Central/6:66 p.m. Eighth Circle.

• Hillary Clinton brought Cesar Borja to last week's State of the Union Address. She's trying to appeal to the Machiavellian voters.

• Pitchers & Catchers: 14 days.

My First Tag

2007-01-31T09:01:00.000-06:00

Oh the silly things bloggers do to pass the time. For the uninitiated, to be tagged in the blogosphere is like receiving a chain letter in the mail (except without the baseless threats). As I have been tagged (and haven't posted anything in weeks), so will I do. The tag demands that I
1) Grab the book closest to me.
2) Open to page 123; go down to the fourth sentence.
3) Post the text of the following three sentences.
4) Name the author and book title.
5) Tag three people to do the same.

The dust hanging in the lights glistened like silica. The aguador stood by with his pail of water. He stepped over the parapet and walked toward the wolf and levered a shell into the chamber and halted ten feet from her and raised the rifle to his shoulder and took aim at the bloodied head and fired.
-Cormac McCarthy "The Crossing"

Just about every blogger I know has already been tagged, so I'll go ahead and tag no one three times. "The Crossing" is the second book of McCarthy's famed Border Trilogy. The first two books are definitely must reads.

Football On The Rocks

2007-01-08T16:21:00.000-06:00

I've loved hockey ever since my parents wouldn't let me watch it. Recently my dad and I have made a point of going to Kings games whenever I'm home. In case you don't know enough about hockey to get psyched about it, watch this clip below.

A little background: The Oilers (Edmonton) were trashing the Stars (Dallas) 4-1 before the Stars scored four straight goals (that's roughly equivalent to an MLB team overcoming an 8-2 deficit to take a lead in the seventh inning). Up 5-4, Dallas had a shot at putting the game further out of reach with less than a minute remaining when the Stars' Patrik Stefan had a shot at an open goal (teams down by one goal will often/always pull their goalie in order to increase their offensive numbers in the closing minute (this gives them six players who can attack the opposing team's goal)).
This is what happened.

Whoops.

It's really a shame all the excellent football this week overshadowed this game. It may be the most fascinating hockey game of all time.

P.S. Dallas won in a shootout. If teams are tied at the end of regulation and one overtime period, they select three players per team to face the opposing team's goalie one on one. Whoever gets the most goals wins.

X-Mas List

2006-12-24T23:32:00.000-06:00

Maybe you've heard the worst X-Mas song of all time. It's called "Grown-Up Christmas List," and it is sung by numerous artists, most famously by Amy Grant. This song may be the reason cats get cancer. I guess the intent is harmless enough, but I'd rather skip right ahead to the root canal this treacly little song produces.

Also bad are the myriad songs trying to make you cry. Roughly 10 years ago, I fell in love with a song called "Please Mr. Jesus" (I think). It was song by a little girl telling Jesus "And please don't tell my daddy but my mommy hits me too." After this little gem came that horrendous "Christmas Shoes" song. I hate songs that exist just to try and pull a heart string (and yes, I do realize my favorite Christmas song is a nonsense love song that doesn't really have much to do with Christmas at all). Oh well, maybe I'm just a Christmas music snob (who doesn't really have any right to be).

Anyway, since tomorrow is the big day, I thought I'd take the opportunity to make like the world's worst X-Mas song and gather my own grown-up Christmas list. Mine is a bit shallow, but it's always fun to come up with things to wish for.

The List: 2006 (No order)
1. An incredibly problem-free wedding (and an even more spectacular marriage to the beautiful Ms. Ashlee).
2. The Dodgers to trade Brad Penny and Andre Ethier for a +.900 OPS slugger and a World Series return in 2007. (Maybe I'll just take a time machine to return to 1988.)
3. A full beard.
4. A puppy or some other animal whose lifelong goal is to try and make me happy.
5. No federal funding of abortion.
6. A miracle in Iraq (and our men and women brought home by next X-Mas).
7. A Sam Harris book that does not make any bestseller list. (Then his publisher drops him, then he has to work for a living (anyone else thinking barista?).)
8. An NFL player lockout lasting no less than three years, thereby resulting in a popularity growth for both MLB and the NHL (and hopefully earning both a more prominent place on espn (no capital letters for you until you end the east coast bias)).
9. A strong U.S. national soccer team.
10. Less of me.
11. A 15 percent raise.
12. The AP Stylebook to make fundraiser one word (in all cases).
13. The discovery/invention of an alternative to fossil fuels.
14. Just enough discomfort to sharpen me for God's service.
15. A great annual/yearbook.
16. A clear winner in the Blu-Ray/HDDVD matchup.
17. One snow day.
18. A solution in the Sudan.
19. A completely different (read corruption-free) United Nations.
20. Clarity.
21. A cure for cat (and human) cancer.
22. Permanent laryngitis: Fergie.
23. Fewer masters for this dog.
24. A couple of books even half as good as "Gilead" and "The Road."
25. A sugar-free Mountain Dew Baja Blast that tastes like the real deal.
26. A new Counting Crows album.
27. A sweet new house with one of those escape hatches like Webster had.
28. Safety, fertile fields for my missionary friends.
29. Met deadlines for all of my newspaper friends still in the trenches.
30. Students interested in Editing for Print Media.
31. An Apple nation.
32. Permanent laryngitis: Gwen Stefani.
33. More time with my parents.
34. Better health for my grandmother.
35. Less use of ya'll, used to could, might could and you'ns.
36. The termination of No Child Left Behind.
37. Harding makes a move to Colorado Springs. (I'll even help pack.)
38. A Cormac McCarthy flatsigned book.
39. MLB re-adopts rule that ground-rule doubles should be counted as home runs (if they're out of the park, they're out of the park).
40. Peace on Earth. With a bow. (And a gift receipt).

Happy X-Mas. May all your wishes come true, and your pudding be figgy.

Earvana

2006-12-16T17:24:00.000-06:00

I've always considered myself a man of fine taste. I feel like my musical taste is an odd syncretism of heavy chunks of my father's fancies, those of my generation and scattered bits and pieces of nostalgia from the easy listening stations my mother tended to frequent.

With a music collection that includes Barry Manilow, Anne Murray and old George Jones, it's hard for others to view me as a music snob. However, I do find most of today's mindless drivel to be anathema. If you look at the popular music that dominated the ariwaves 25-40 years ago, you'll find your standard love songs and trippy attempts at abstract songcrafting. The overarching standard for music used to be melody. If a song had a catchy melody, you could almost guarantee a hit.

Used to be, you could find sad songs decades ago, which are now almost as archaic as songs without a drum machine or sample. Some examples: Gilbert O'Sullivan's "Alone Again, Naturally," the Moody Blues' "Nights in White Satin," The Allman Brothers Band's "Melissa," ELO's "Can't Get it Outta my head," Dionne Warwick's "I'll Never Love this Way Again" and Bread's "Lost Without Your Love." Today you find music in which braggadocious courting and self-aggrandizement make up the "lyrics." I guess this might have something to do with the undeniable success of hip-hop music. The result has led to execrable "songs" such as these: The Black-Eyed Peas "My Humps," Justin Timberlake's "Sexy Back," T-Pain's "I'm In Love With a Stripper" and Gwen Stefani's "Wind it Up." I am convinced the most heated battle being waged in music right now is for "Artist Doing The Most To Destroy Music." The frontrunners are the ubiquitous Fergie (from the aforementioned womb of inanity that is The Black-Eyed Peas), who carries on about her "London Bridge," and Stefani, who first found fame with the overrated but tolerable No Doubt and now yodels (poorly) and spells about how her (scatological expletive) is b-a-n-a-n-a-s.

Most of today's music is also b-a-n-a-n-a-s. I've got a new word for today's artists to spell out in song: C-A-C-O-P-H-O-N-Y.

Fortunately there is help. Thanks to online music sites such as iTunes, classic gems (and the few newer diamonds in the very rough state of today's music) are only a click (or 30-second snippet) away.

Here's my current top 125 list to help you get through the mumbo. Take a listen, some of these might surprise you.

Beauchamp's Top 125 Favorite Songs (order is not particular)
1. "Blue in Green" - Miles Davis (in fact, buy the album "Kind of Blue")
2. "A Long December" - Counting Crows
3. "#41" - Dave Matthews Band
4. "Time" - Pink Floyd
5. "Yesterday" - The Beatles
6. "Hey Jude" - The Beatles
7. "It Never Entered My Mind" - Miles Davis
8. "Raining In Baltimore" - Counting Crows
9. "Two Step" - Dave Matthews Band
10. "Easy Way To Cry" - David Gray
11. "As I'm Leaving" - David Gray
12. "Lately" - David Gray
13. "Now And Always" - David Gray
14. "Shiver" - Coldplay
15. "Sparks" - Coldplay
16. "This Year's Love" - David Gray
17. "Clocks" - Coldplay
18. "Careful Where You Stand" - Coldplay
19. "Here, There and Everywhere" - Belarus
20. "I Will Follow You into the Dark" - Death Cab for Cutie
21. "Scattered Black and Whites" - Elbow
22. "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" - Elton John
23. "Come Down in Time" - Elton John
24. "Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters" - Elton John
25. "In the Air Tonight" - Phil Collins
26. "Kissing a Fool" - George Michael
27. "Two Points for Honesty" - Guster
28. "These Days" - Jackson Browne
29. "Highway Song" - James Taylor
30. "Long Ago and Far Away" - James Taylor
31. "Carolina in My Mind" - James Taylor
32. "Something in the Way She Moves" - James Taylor
33. "Copperline" - James Taylor
34. "Sullivan Street" - Counting Crows
35. "Butterfly in Reverse" - Counting Crows
36. "Another Horsedreamer's Blues" - Counting Crows
37. "You and I Both" - Jason Mraz
38. "Sleep All Day" - Jason Mraz
39. "Work" - Jimmy Eat World
40. "3x5" - John Mayer
41. "Stop this Train" - John Mayer
42. "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room" - John Mayer
43. "Split-Screen Sadness" - John Mayer
44. "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" - The Band
45. "Golden" - My Morning Jacket
46. "Lay Low" - My Morning Jacket
47. "My Name is Jonas" - Weezer
48. "The Man Comes Around" - Johnny Cash
49. "On A Day Like Today" - Keane
50. "Try Again" - Keane
51. "Haven't We Met" - Kenny Rankin
52. "Blackbird" - Kenny Rankin
53. "All These Things That I've Done" - The Killers
54. "You Really Got Me" - The Kinks
55. "Going To California" - Led Zeppelin
56. "When the Levee Breaks" - Led Zeppelin
57. "Truly" - Lionel Richie
58. "My Love" - Lionel Richie
59. "You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go" - Madeleine Peyroux (download this now, trust me)
60. "Blinded by the Light" - Manfred Mann's Earth Band
61. "Human Nature" - Michael Jackson
62. "The Long and Winding Road" - The Beatles
63. "For No One" - The Beatles
64. "Penny Lane" - The Beatles
65. "The Question" - The Moody Blues
66. "Nights in White Satin" - The Moody Blues
67. "From the Beginning" - Emerson, Lake & Palmer
68. "I Am...I Said" - Neil Diamond
69. "Adelaide" - Old 97s
70. "Selfless, Cold and Composed" - Ben Folds Five
71. "Sweet Afton" - Nickel Creek
72. "Talking Old Soldiers" - Elton John
73. "My Love" - Paul McCartney and Wings
74. "Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes" - Paul Simon
75. "Slip Slidin' Away" - Paul Simon
76. "Speak to Me/Breathe" - Pink Floyd
77. "Shine on You Crazy Diamond (complete)" - Pink Floyd
78. "Wish You Were Here" - Pink Floyd
79. "Comfortably Numb" - Pink Floyd
80. "Break on Through" - The Doors
81. "Nightswimming" - R.E.M
82. "Fake Plastic Trees" - Radiohead
83. "Sulk" - Radiohead
84. "Creep" - Radiohead
85. "Street Spirit" - Radiohead
86. "Let Down" - Radiohead
87. "A Beautiful Morning" - The Rascals
88. "Trouble" - Ray Lamontagne
89. "Shelter" - Ray Lamontagne
90. "Jolene" - Ray Lamontagne
91. "Empty" - Ray Lamontagne
92. "Tear" - Red Hot Chili Peppers
93. "Scar Tissue" - Red Hot Chili Peppers
94. "More Adventurous" - Rilo Kiley
95. "Wonderwall" - Ryan Adams
96. "Bring it on Home to Me" - Sam Cooke
97. "Love's Divine" - Seal
98. "Bleecker Street" - Simon and Garfunkel
99. "Song for the Asking" - Simon and Garfunkel
100. "Only Living Boy in New York" - Simon and Garfunkel
101. "1979" - Smashing Pumpkins
102. "Run" - Snow Patrol
103. "Baker Street" - Gerry Rafferty
104. "Deacon Blues" - Steely Dan
105. "Peg" - Steely Dan
106. "Take it to the Limit" - The Eagles
107. "Overjoyed" - Stevie Wonder
108. "Fields of Gold" - Sting
109. "Vicarious" - Tool
110. "Plush" - Stone Temple Pilot
111. "Machinehead" - Bush
112. "Everything Zen" - Bush
113. "Prizefighter" - Bush
114. "Comedown" - Bush
115. "Sweet Thing" - Van Morrison
116. "Moondance" - Van Morrison
117. "Caravan" - Van Morrison
118. "Into the Mystic" - Van Morrison
119. "Tupelo Honey" - Van Morrison
120. "She's Not There" - The Zombies
121. "Time of the Season" - The Zombies
122. "Tell Her No" - The Zombies
123. "The Way I Feel Inside" - The Zombies
124. "Last Nite" - The Strokes
125. "The Boxer" - Simon and Garfunkel

My Soda Kicks Your Pop's Can

2006-12-13T16:30:00.000-06:00

The age-old debate has some "scientific" support.

Soda Vs. Pop Vs. Coke stats by region.

Personally I've always (and will always) call it soda. I'll also call the highway the freeway and refer to certain sections as THE 10 or THE 40.

Notice how the trendsetting regions prefer Soda over pop? I once stayed with a couple in Illinois who called it sodee pop.

Illinois. Ha.

There's Got To Be Another Way

2006-12-11T13:31:00.000-06:00

It's finals week. As a result, things have slowed down quite a bit for me. No matter how stressful life has gotten for me through my first semester behind the lectern, I doubt there is anything that could lead me to this.

"Man Trapped 4 Days"

Warning: It's a little gross.

My Brother, Jeff Dahmer

2006-12-11T09:49:00.000-06:00

I remember hearing tales of Jeffrey Dahmer's conversion before his death. It came, I believe, in the form of one of those chain letters that get sent to churches all over the country (you know, the ones that tell you to boycott Disneyland because they hate families, or don't shop at K-Mart because they hate families, etc.). I guess I only took the information at face value. Besides, how could someone so obviously twisted turn their life around and accept Christ? If it were true, would one of the world's most infamous and grisliest serial killers have a spot in heaven?

Today I stumbled on an article entitled "Would Jeffrey Dahmer Have Been An Evangelist?".

When I've talked to people in California about my religious affiliation, they often want to know who they would know was affiliated with the church of Christ. In the past I've always said Weird Al, Max Lucado, Kenny Perry, AC Green, Gene Stallings and Byron Nelson.

I guess we can count one more (in)famous than all the others: Jeff Dahmer (post murders).

For a longer list of church of Christ-affiliated celebs and politicians click here.
The most interesting names on this list are: James Hahn, Fred Thompson, Dwight Yokam, Glen Campbell, Roy Orbison, Janis Joplin, Meatloaf, David Robinson, Fred McGriff, Jim Morris (the Rookie), Pat Sajak, Fred D. Gray (Rosa Parks' attorney) and Scott Hamilton (the skater). My faith does not remotely hinge on the adherence of celebs, but it does make for an interesting list.

The End of the Matter

2006-12-06T23:33:00.000-06:00

If you don't agree with this story, I have no respect for you as a baseball fan.

Also, read Michael Lewis' "Moneyball."

Good day.

It's Beginning To Look

2006-11-28T22:50:00.000-06:00

Christmas is my favorite time of year. Couple that with a month (mostly) off of work and a ticket to sunny Southern California, and I may be on the verge of glad tidings nirvana. To honor my favorite time of year, I have developed a list of the 10 absolute best Christmas songs.

Now This Is What J Calls Christmas
1. Last Christmas - Wham
2. Wonderful Christmas Time - Paul McCartney
3. O Tannenbaum - Vince Guaraldi Trio
4. Christmas - Blues Traveler
5. O Holy Night - Josh Groban
6. Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! - Dean Martin
7. Gabriel's Message - Sting
8. Little Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth - Bing Crosby & David Bowie
9. Merry Christmas Darling - The Carpenters
10. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas - Coldplay

Honorable Mentions:
Ave Maria - Chris Cornell
Warm Little Home On A Hill - Stevie Wonder
The whole of the Charlie Brown Christmas Album - Vince Guaraldi Trio
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas - James Taylor
Celebrate Me Home - Kenny Loggins
Give Love On Christmas Day - Jackson 5
Thank God It's Christmas - Queen
Father Christmas - The Kinks
Please Come Home For Christmas - The Eagles
Silent Night - Mannheim Steamroller

Hope you find something you like; wish I could give you links. No dice.

Time's Not On My Side

2006-11-16T15:55:00.000-06:00

Time magazine recently published online their All-Time Top 100 Albums.

If you peruse the list, and you have high blood pressure, beware — there are some extreme snubs. The list is plit into decades, beginning with the 50s and ending today.

First, things Time got right.
2000s: Nothing. I've heard a lot of good albums in the last six years, but few would be worthy of consideration as a seminal recording. If the list is purely subjective (as it must be) read on for my inclusions. As for Time's insistence on including retrospectives in the decade they were released, I heartily disagree. These recordings should only be included with their originals.
The inclusion of the self-aggrandizing Kanye West and Eminem are ridiculous inclusions in light of the gross exclusions made to include them. "Kid A" is about the farthest thing from an exceptional album (just because it is different and melodically incoherent doesn't mean it's good).

1990s: Most agree that Radiohead's "OK Computer" is an instant classic. Oasis' first effort is justly rewarded, and I remember hearing all about "The Chronic" when I was in grade school. I agree with the inclusion of "Nevermind," although I think there is a little wave of backlash rising against it.

1980s: Reading this list you would think every other album was rap, although a couple of these were seminal (even if they did set cop-rapper relations back 40 years). While I believe rumor's of Prince's prodigious talents to be greatly exaggerated, "Purple Rain" is an 80s classic. Paul Simon's last great effort ("Graceland") is a worthy inclusion, as is U2's "The Joshua Tree." Michael Jackson's one nod is the incomparable "Thriller."

1970s: The 70s feature an overwhelming praise of the roots of punk, but there is nary a mention of disco (probably a good thing). The Ramones are well-known, but far, far from great. Better inclusions were Fleetwood Mac's "Rumours," Elton John's "Goodby Yellow Brick Road," Stevie Wonder's "Songs in the Key of Life," The Eagles' "Hotel California," Joni Mitchell's "Blue," Al Green's "Call Me," Led Zeppelin's "IV," The Who's "Who's Next," Carole King's "Tapestry," Marvin Gaye's "What's Going On," and Simon and Garfunkel's "Bridge Over Troubled Water." The best album, in my opinion, they included in the 70s was Van Morrison's "Moondance."

1960s: Maybe the greatest decade for music. Ever. Included are all the best Beatles albums, the Beach Boys' "Pet Sounds," Van Morrison's incredible "Astral Weeks," Johnny Cash's "At Folsom Prison" and Bob Dylan's "Highway 61 Revisited" and "Blonde on Blonde." Needless to say there are some major oversights here.

1950s: Time did pretty well here. They included maybe the best album of all time: Miles Davis' "Kind of Blue." Both of their Sinatra inclusions are exceptional.

What Time got wrong. I'm just going to list and add commentary on a few.
2000s: My list would have included the following:
"By the Way" — Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Trouble" — Ray Lamontagne (this album will take you back to late 60s early 70s Van Morrison)
"Lost Songs" & "Life In Slow Motion" — David Gray (if they are going to give a nod to DJ Shadow (who?), I have no problem giving these albums a boost)
"Hard Candy" — Counting Crows

1990s:
"August and Everything After" and Recovering the Satellites" — Counting Crows
"Crash," "Before these Crowded Streets" and "Live at Luther College" — Dave Matthews Band and Dave Matthews and Time Rreynolds
"6Teen Stone" — Bush
"II" — Boyz II Men (hey, they were huge)
"Parachutes" — Coldplay
"Whatever and Ever Amen" — Ben Folds Five
"Dookie" - Greed Day
"The Bends" - Radiohead
"Cracked Rear View" - Hootie & The Blowfish
"Ten" - Pearl Jam
"Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness" - Smashing Pumpkins (This is a huge oversight)

1980s:
One Michael Jackson album? One?!
"Bad" - Michael Jackson

1970s:
THE BIGGEST MISTAKE IN THE HISTORY OF MAKING ALL-TIME LISTS: NO PINK FLOYD!!!!!
"Dark Side of the Moon," "Wish You Were Here" and "The Wall" - Pink Floyd
"Aja" - Steely Dan
"For Everyman" - Jackson Browne
"Madman Across the Water" and "Tumbleweed Junction" - Elton John

1960s:
Time did a good job on the 60s and 70s (let's me know the age of the reviewers).
"The Zombies" - The Zombies
"The Doors" - The Doors

I'll probably have to come out with my own top 100 now. Look for it if you care.

The Plunge Lede

2006-11-14T16:13:00.000-06:00

This is a little cold, but gosh if it doesn't make me realize why I chose journalism.

Plunge Journalism

Books>Movies

2006-10-16T13:56:00.000-05:00

I bought Cormac McCarthy's "The Road" the other day. I have never read any of Mr. McCarthy's other novels ("No Country For Old Men," "All The Pretty Horses"), but the book flap hooked me.

DIGRESSION
I don't generally read fiction but every so often it is a nice distraction. I had begun three nonfiction books before I decided I needed a distraction. I call my tendency nonfunktion. It's when I start several nonfiction books but get stuck (in a funk) before I can finish. Usually a good fiction can kick out the funk. (In case anyone cares, I was reading a biography of the "number"/idea zero, "The Mother Tongue" by Bill Bryson and "The Education Of Henry Adams" by Henry Adams.)

BACK ON TOPIC
"The Road" revolves around an unnamed father and son who are trying to survive against all hope following nuclear war. I won't describe more of the novel other than to say that it is extremely bleak (so far) and horrifyingly realistic (as far as my notions of nuclear fallout go). The story is rather relevant following a certain tyrant's recent nuclear testing.

It is like finding a pearl in a mollusk when you run across a book that make you feel strong emotions. I've never read any Stephen King or R.L. Stine (ha) so I'm not used to feeling fear when I read a book. Oftentimes I have felt tension, but reading "The Road" before bed last night completely wore me out. The descriptions and horrors were so palpable I had trouble turning out the light. I'm still thinking about it today -- a lot -- and I haven't even finished it.

I can't fully endorse the book until I've finished it, but if you have a strong stomach and are in the mood to be totally depressed, give "The Road" a turn.

Full Beauchamp endorsement: "Gilead" -- Marilynne Robinson; "Devil In White City" -- Erik Larson; "Short History Of Nearly Everything" -- Bill Bryson.

Update
In the time between the original post and this update (Oct. 27), I have finished "The Road" and McCarthy's "No Country For Old Men." I've also begun "All The Pretty Horses."

Simply put, "The Road" is a masterpiece. It is absolutely required reading. McCarthy can be maddening; he doesn't use puncuation unless meaning would be lost by its exclusion, and it can be difficult to determine who is talking as he uses a running dialogue. He doesn't write down what his characters are thinking apaart from what they say and how they do something. Hence, it is sometimes confusing to understand their intentions and motivations. Still, this is probably the most important book I've read in the last decade (and I'm only 25).

Read it. Experience it. Don't let me oversell it.

(Too late)

October — Huzzah!

2006-10-03T17:33:00.000-05:00

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

It's time for postseason baseball.

What is football? What is basketball? Although I love them, what are hockey and the EPL?

October means falling leaves and suicide squeezes. I thank God for both.

At the beginning of this season (before this blog was in existence) I selected my postseason-bound teams. Here is what I came up with:

NL West: Los Angeles Dodgers (correct)
NL Central: St. Louis Cardinals (correct)
NL East: New York Mets (correct)
NL Wild Card: Atlanta Braves (San Diego Padres)

AL West: Oakland Athletics (correct)
AL Central: Chicago White Sox (Minnesota Twins)
AL East: New York Yankees (correct)
Wild Card: Anaheim Angels (Detroit Tigers)
Five out of Eight isn't too bad.

The Athletics were my preseason pick to win the world series.

Here are my adjusted postseason picks.
NLDS
Dodgers over Mets (3-1) (Mets' pitching an oxymoron; Bums led league in team BA)
Padres over Cardinals (3-2) (Padres have best bullpen in the league; Cards sinking)
ALDS
Athletics over Twins (3-0) (Twinkies can't hold candle to best pitching in league)
Yankees over Tigers (3-0) (1. Damon, 2. Jeter, 3. Abreu, 4. Giambi, 5. Sheffield, 6. A-Rod, 7. Matsui, 8. Posada, 9. Cano. Best lineup ever)
NLCS
Padres over Dodgers (4-3) (Padres, owners of Dodgers' number)
ALCS
Athletics over Yankees (4-3) (Pitching wins championships, even against the above lineup).
World Series
Athletics over Padres (4-1) (PWC)

Season Awards
NL Coach of the Year (Note: I believe baseball managers have one of the easiest jobs on the planet. Managers are more responsible for losses than wins. I'll riff on this in a later post.)
1. Joe Girardi (Baseball: a true meritocracy. Better luck next owner, Joe.)
2. Bruce Bochy (How did this team do anything?)
3. Grady Little (Our beloved Grittle was dealt a team without it's lights-out closer and an ever-changing bullpen. Welcome to L.A.)

NL Rookie of the Year
1. Takashi Saito (I'm no homer. Sure he's old, but if Sasaki and Ichiro could win it Saito is more than eligible. Consider: 2.07 ERA; 24 saves; 107/23 K/BB ratio (for the uninitiated, that is sick); better than 11.5 Ks per nine innings.)
2. Hanley Ramirez
3. (tie) Dan Uggla and Russell Martin

NL MVP
1. Albert Pujols (1.102 OPS, 49 HR, 137 RBI, 92 Walks-50 Ks.)
2. Ryan Howard (1.084 OPS, 58 HR, 149 RBI, 108 Walks-181 Ks!)
3. Rafael Furcal

NL Cy Young
1. Brandon Webb (16-8 (although wins are overrated), 3.10 ERA, Five complete games (three shutouts), 1.13 WHIP, 3.56 K/BB.)
2. Roy Oswalt
3. Chris Carpenter

AL Manager of the Year
1. Jim Leyland (The Tigers?)
2. Ron Garendhire
3. John Gibbons

AL Rookie of the Year (Best year ever)
1. Justin Verlander (If a starter earns it, I will never give it to a reliever. Starters are worth more than relievers!)
2. Francisco Liriano
3. (tie) Jonathan Papelbon and Jared Weaver

AL MVP
1. Justin Morneau (The time bomb has ticked it's last)
2. Jermaine Dye (It was his if the Sox made it)
3. David Ortiz

AL Cy Young
1. Johan Santana (Hands down the best pitcher in the game for the last three years (until his staff mate Liriano takes over))
2. Verlander
3. Roy Halladay

Biggest Surprise
1. Frank Thomas resurgence (don't let batting average spoil your fun, Hurt)
2. Nomar plays more than 60 games, hits two walk-off slams.
3. Red Sox miss playoffs/Tigers make playoffs.

Game of the Year
Dodgers hit four consecutive home runs to tie in ninth inning. Nomar wins it in 10th on two-run walk away.

Ten to Watch in 2007
1. Delmon Young (D-Rays)
2. Nick Markakis (Orioles)
3. James Loney (Bums)
4. Matt Kemp (Bums)
5. Andy Marte (Indians)
6. B.J. Upton (D-Rays)
7. Hanley Ramirez (Marlins)
8. Andre Ethier (Bums)
9. Josh Willingham (Marlins)
10. Carlos Quentin (Diamondbacks)

Young Guns in 2007
1. Liriano
2. Verlander
3. Weaver
4. Felix Hernandez (may be the pick o' the litter)
5. Chad Billingsley (Bums)
6. Cole Hamels (Phils)
7. Joel Zumaya (Tigers)
8. Hong Chih Kuo (Bums)
9. Jonathan Broxton (Bums)
10. Anibal Sanchez (Marlins)

My Pet Project for 2007
1. Bring it back: Ground Rule Doubles should be Ground Rule Home Runs like back before the War (if it's out of the park, it's out of the park).

Coming soon: Thoughts on the Bums being back in the playoffs.

What's The Point/Dot/Period?

2006-09-27T01:06:00.000-05:00

Oh small, filled-in circle, how you confound me!

At the end of a sentence you are a period (or a full stop for our British friends).

In between radio station call numbers you are a point.

When I'm typing in Web addresses you are a dot.

Identity crisis much?

No Coencidence

2006-09-24T12:29:00.000-05:00

I'm afraid my blog title makes me look like a pretentious jerk. I may still be a pretentious jerk (I hope not), but the blog title is not indicative of that.

Allow me to explain.

It has been years since I have written steadily. I decided about three years ago to pursue editing rather than writing. One can often make more money and ascend faster as an editor than a writer. For the past three years I have put correcting the poor writing of others above churning out the poor writing of myself. As one who loves to write, I feel the loss.

Most who know me recognize that I am a cinephile. My favorite collaborative pair behind the camera is the Coen brothers. They have written, directed and produced some of the more thought-provoking pictures I've ever seen. If the name doesn't strike a chord, they're responsible for "O Brother, Where Art Thou?", "Fargo" and "The Hudsucker Proxy." One of their harder-to-find films is "Barton Fink" — starring John Turturro as the titular character and John Goodman as his "friend" Charlie.

*** SPOILER WARNING *** Barton is a playwright who is beginning to earn praise on Broadway when he gets an offer to write for the moving pictures in Hollywood. Barton accepts and is told to write a formulaic wrestling flick for his first go-round. As he begins to write, distractions pile up, and he finds himself in writer's hell: He suffers a complete mental block. Charlie attempts to help Barton get his groove back. He also may be a serial killer. The Coens are notoroius for developing films that have multiple meanings; this is my interpretation: It is apparent in "Barton Fink" that Barton has found himself in hell (either literal or figurative). Charlie (who may be part of Barton's imagination or may be the devil himself) gives Barton his mind back. In the climactic scene, Charlie runs down a fiery hallway yelling, "Look upon me, and I'll show you the life of the mind!" After the exchange, Barton's pen is flowing again.

I titled my blog after Charlie's threat/warning/declaration. This blog represents an opportunity for me to exercise (exorcise) my writing mind. Hope this clarifies the matter. I am no mind, I am just trying to know mine.

*** CINEPHILE PRATTLE WARNING *** I warned earlier of spoilers, but I didn't give away enough of the film to keep someone from watching. I invite anyone to see the film and judge for himself or herself what the relationships, settings and events in the picture represent.

The Other Side Of The Lectern

2006-09-19T22:52:00.000-05:00

Today is national talk like a pirate day. I'd like to think I did my part.

"Mr. Beauchamp, what is the thinking process of the reporter?"

Aaarrgh.

I gave my first exam today. As usual (?) students were trying to get last-minute answers out of me before D-Period began. Other students were hurriedly perusing their notes for little nuggets to commit to memory (rather than actually learning).

All in all I feel like the exam went well. I reviewed with the students last class period and told them more than they would need to know about what was going to make up the exam. I told them there would be about 50 questions and that the test would be worth 200 points. Groans all around. Shocked faces twisted in wonderment that I would dare make the average question worth four points. Where did I get off...? I quickly explained that there were 1350 points available in this course, and that I wanted the exams to be weighted accordingly. I said, "If you fail a test it will drop your overall grade by one letter." Good thing this is print news writing and not statistics.

As for the exam itself, I included just about every kind of question one could want. I started off with an oldie but a goody: multiple choice. Next, to set the mood right, I threw in a pinch of true/false, followed closely by a section of matching. To showboat I rustled up some short answer. The exam also included some listing, identification and I had the students write a lead based on six reported facts.

We'll see how the scores line up, but I think I made the test simple enough for everyone to pass if they put in a couple hours of study. But you never know with college students. I'm sure I'll hear a bevy of excuses come next Tuesday.

I just hope no one offers up "a touch of the scurvy."

Why I Am A Sports Fan

2006-09-19T22:27:00.000-05:00

I've thought about this topic for some time now. I have literally cried over baseball — specifically Dodger baseball. So many highs and lows for sports and me.

I guess my illogical love for baseball is similar to my equally illogical love of playing golf. In both endeavours I have dealt with more than my fair share of failure. In both the humiliation was often so deep I swore them off — at least for a minute or two. What brings me roaring back to two of my greatest passions are the triumphant moments that are so few and far between. In golf I'll triple bogey a hole (or worse), swear to sell my clubs on eBay, then sink a birdie putt and dance the tango with my putter.

Baseball is a little different; I have no control over the game. However, I feel every J.D. Drew strikeout, every Chad Billingsley walk, every Padre victory. I take everything so personally. Many a day has been ruined for me by a poor Dodger performance.

Then nights like last night happen. I could prattle on about why I love this game and how it affects me, but stories like this say more than I ever could.

One Of Those Days

2006-09-18T22:52:00.000-05:00

Woke up today. Wish I could will myself to do it. Sometimes I get anxious about the day's trouble so I never actually have any sleep to wake up from. Today wasn't one of those days.

Maybe it should have been.

I have been in my new job as instructor of communication and director of student publications for two months now. Last Friday marked the second issue of the Bison, the student newspaper at HU. We publish semimonthly, so the first issue was Sept. 8. The first issue I went to bed at 6:30 a.m. on Thursday. Our deadlines are always on Thursday, so Wednesday nights aren't very conducive for sleep. So last Thursday I got to bed at 4:30 a.m. Getting better. I got back up to the office at 10 a.m. the same day. I made some quick edits, and my assistant and I packaged and uploaded the paper to a disc. We beat deadline by 30 minutes, so things were seemingly going well.

Friday we delivered the paper to on-campus newsstands. Students are always eager to leaf through our 12 pages of small-college news while downing chicken biscuits and ruby-red grapefruit juice. Arriving back at the office, the editor pointed out a mistake that had made it into the paper. Turns out the staff had granted someone an incorrect title. I tell my students (ad nauseum) credibility is the lifeblood of any publication (at least any publication that doesn't feature doctored photos of Saddam and Osama as secret lovers). Needless to say we had a small problem on our hands.

Friday I was granted a reprieve from hearing about our error. I headed to Tulsa to visit a friend and forget the Bison. Today the piper came calling. I received not one but two visits from concerned individuals about the mistake. I understand their concern. I was perturbed when I found out on Friday. We will be running a retraction next Bison. Still, I get the feeling when I get visitors it will only be regarding problems instead of praises. It's all eerily similar to my last job as a copy editor at a medium-sized daily. The only time you would hear from the bosses (or anybody for that matter) would be when you would screw up. I think this is the nature of the newspaper business. I guess HU is just a microcosm of the professional world. I suppose I expected something different with a position in which I am supposed to be the acting publisher. The publishers at the papers I've worked for in the past never heard from the ownership groups unless there was a problem with money. I'm lucky not to have to fumble too much with money. I don't have to fire anyone because of budget concerns. I don't have to deal with the irreligious views of coworkers.

At the end of the day, I am thankful to God for this job. Outside of Wednesday nights, I work reaasonable hours, and I get to serve in a sort of mentor position. Despite the criticism of the day, I really feel like I am making a difference. I feel like I am doing something important. I feel a charge to inspire my students/staffs to greatness, and I think they respect me for it. Best of all, I am fulfilling a dream I have had to work in higher education — especially at an institution whose ideals I mostly share.

Hope I never wake up.